Lucky
by armyofgnomes
Summary: Hichigo sees her every day, but only Ichigo can touch her, and when she meets their eyes, she only sees the King. It may be fate, but Hichigo will do his best to change it and get her to notice him. 'Sweet' Hichiruki, slight Ichiruki.
1. Longing

Wow, I wrote something that isn't yaoi! I'm so proud of myself.

This is for my crazy sister Rukia, who wanted a "sweet" HichiRuki story, although with him involved it'll be hard not to let it get dark. I'll try my best!

Just to clarify, I'll be sticking in bits of Japanese, because I believe the feeling behind some of the things that are said can't be properly translated into English. Translation notes are at the end.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, but it owns me! Mwa ha ha ha!

Anyway, read and enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter One: Longing**

_He's so lucky._

#

Ichigo ran from his room, stumbling down the stairs with his typical glare firmly in place, ignoring Kon's muffled protests at being shut in his backpack once again. Rukia had already left for school, not bothering to wake him, probably intentionally being as quiet as she could so he'd be late for school again. The last few times he'd been kept in front of the class he'd seen Rukia snickering behind her hands as Ochi-sensei bopped him on the head repeatedly with her book and gave him a lecture about tardiness before letting him take his seat.

_If only I could use shunpo_, Ichigo thought ruefully, reminding himself that reaching class on time in his shinigami form would do very little to help his attendance record, although when his body finally showed up it would be Kon receiving the book bashing. Just this thought was enough to make Ichigo toy with the idea for a little longer, but he eventually abandoned it, knowing that if he gave Kon access to his body, school would number among one of the last places the little pervert would go, despite the abundance of short skirts and giggling.

_Even if he did show up, he'd probably try to do inappropriate things to Inoue during class, and get my body killed by Chizuru_, he told himself, shuddering at the thought. By running the entire way, Ichigo managed to reach school just a few minutes after the first bell had rung. He entered the classroom panting, endured a few smacks from the dreaded book and smirks from the class, then made his way to his seat.

As he passed Rukia's desk, turning toward her to pay her smile with a glare, he suddenly found himself reaching out to brush her cheek, his fingers continuing to slip through her hair before coming to rest on her shoulder.

"Ichigo? What are you doing?" she said, her face caught half between shock and suspicion, not sure if this was a joke of some kind.

"N-nothing!" he said, reacting to the sound of her voice and realizing what he was doing, pulling his hand back suddenly and clenching it into a fist to better control it. He stepped around her desk and took his seat, blushing and staring out the window, but at the same time wondering the same thing she had asked. What had he been doing?

Ichigo had a suspicion, but he hadn't felt the hollow for quite some time. All he'd sensed during that moment was a sudden longing to . . . touch her. To have her attention focused on him.

_But she was already looking at me_, Ichigo thought, confused, feeling the urge to put his head in his hands, but not wanting to worry Rukia, who seemed to have settled on the idea that Ichigo had been teasing her. He needed to let her continue thinking that. He didn't want her to know that he could be losing control, that **it** was surfacing again.

Ichigo almost expected that voice to rise in the back of his head after this thought, for his hollow to state clearly that yes, it was back, and it wanted control, or at least for it to mock him. But not even a trace of that familiar darkness could be found, a fact that scared Ichigo all the more. What was it doing? Was it holding back, hiding, building up the strength to once again fight for Ichigo's soul?

Unsure of the state of his own mind, Ichigo found it very hard to focus on the lesson Ochi-sensei was teaching, concentrating instead on trying to heed the warnings his instincts were presenting. He suddenly wondered if, at that very moment, there was a much more important lesson being taught in his own head, one that he was incapable of understanding, one that concerned not only his life, but the lives of all he held dear. As he turned to once again look at Rukia, that faint longing rose again, and Ichigo quickly directing his gaze elsewhere. For reasons he couldn't-and didn't quite want to-understand, Rukia seemed to be the trigger for his inner hollow's emergence.

Some time later, far too long in Ichigo's mind, the final bell rang. Rukia, who Ichigo had been ignoring for her own good throughout the lesson, promptly rose and bashed him over the head with her sketchbook.

"Teme! What the hell was that for?" Ichigo cried, springing to his feet and rubbing his head.

"For ignoring me!" Rukia said in her best and cutest Kuchiki-san voice, apparently trying to counteract her sudden violence, at least in the eyes of her classmates.

"Drop that schoolgirl stuff; you sound like Chappy," Ichigo grumbled in a low tone so only Rukia could hear him. He hoped this properly grumpy remark would convince her that everything was okay with him, especially since he was avoiding looking at her. She seemed to be way too damn perceptive to his mental state, and he really didn't want her to know what he was feeling every time he saw her.

"Hidoi!" she cried out; Ichigo guessed she'd just barely held back a "pyon". She accompanied this remark with another bop from her sketchbook.

Ichigo waved her off, collecting his things and navigating around desks and classmates to reach the door. Once in the hall, he had to dodge Keigo, who leapt toward him with a cry of "Ichigoooooo!", but he was used to this reaction, and could therefore escape while remaining lost in thought.

_I've got to think of an excuse to get her away from me until I can get it under control, or at least until I can figure out what it's up to._

Thankfully, Rukia seemed to be taking the hint that he wanted to be alone, for although she walked home with him, she didn't talk to him the whole way. Ichigo was grateful for this, mentally promising himself that he would apologize to her when this was all over. He knew that she would understand, once he worked his pride down enough to admit what he'd been going through, and that she would forgive him.

They were almost home, the silence now growing uncomfortable, when Rukia stumbled on an uneven bit in the sidewalk. Without thinking, Ichigo spun around and caught her before she could fall, her sudden nearness a shock after he'd tried to ignore her presence the whole way home.

"R-rukia. You okay?"

"I'm fine," Rukia said grudgingly, pushing him away from her. But his hands didn't let go of her wrists.

"Ichigo?" she asked, meeting his eyes.

Then he pulled her to him, pressing his body against hers and meeting her lips with a forceful kiss. She froze, uncertain, and the kiss softened for a moment to something much more tender, before Ichigo abruptly broke it off. Without thinking about how bad this would look, merely needing to get away from her, Ichigo broke into a run, reaching his house and throwing open the front door, kicking his shoes off and continuing up to his room, where he slammed and locked the door.

Ichigo leaned against the back of the door, clapping his hand over his mouth, eyes wide. What . . . had he just done?

He pushed away from the door, dropping his backpack, and sat on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, eyes closed.

_What are you doing?_ Ichigo thought desperately, trying to recover from what his hollow had just made him do.

_*Come on, King, don't pretend ya don't like it*_, the hollow said, finally making himself known.

"I don't!" Ichigo cried out, forgetting to keep his voice low in case his family wondered why he was talking to himself. Right now, that was the least of his cares.

"Rukia and I, we. . we aren't like that! She's my friend, my nakama, but that's all."

He sank back on his bed, rubbing at his eyes, trying to get it to leave, trying to regain control.

_*She could be more*_, the hollow said suddenly.

Ichigo opened his eyes and sat up in shock. The hollow's last statement had been given in a tone that was separate from the longing Ichigo had been feeling all day. It had almost been . . . caring.

_No_, Ichigo thought, trying to keep his thoughts to himself. There was no way that thing could ever care for anyone but itself. His hollow was just trying to catch him off guard, to find a way to gain control. And Ichigo was determined not to let that happen.

* * *

**Translation Notes:**

_Shinigami_ - death god; "soul reaper" in the dub

_Teme_ - very rude way of saying "you"

_Hidoi_ - horrible

_Pyon_ - a cutesy, bouncy noise, literally "hop"

_Nakama_ - a close friend


	2. Taking Action

AN: There's more Japanese in this one than the last, but the notes are there to help you at the end!

* * *

**Chapter Two: Taking Action**

Ichigo was lying on his bed when he heard the front door open almost ten minutes later. He didn't move, merely opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling, glad for once that Rukia was staying in Karin and Yuzu's room so he didn't have to see her right now. He heard his locked door knob rattle, then footsteps continue down the hall. Rukia understood to leave him alone.

_She could be more_, Ichigo thought, remembering the hollow's statement not for the feeling he had sensed behind it, but for the words themselves. Rukia. . . .

He sat up, pulling his window open and taking Kon from his backpack. He ignored the stuffed lion's protests, merely saying, "Na, Kon. I'm going out for a bit. Don't do anything stupid in my body."

Kon broke off in the middle of an expletive, saying, "Hah? Really?"

As an answer, Ichigo smacked the doll with his shinigami daikou badge, catching the little green pill before it could fall to his bed. He wiped it off on his shirt, then popped it into his mouth and swallowed, his soul breaking away from his body.

Without another word of explanation to Kon, he jumped out the window, using a few steps of shunpo to distance himself from Rukia even more.

_*Hey, king, you know I'm stronger in this form, right?*_

"Yeah, I know," Ichigo murmured, "but at least now we're away from her."

#

Rukia sat on her bed in Karin and Yuzu's room, knees pulled up to her chest, thinking. She'd wanted to know the reason Ichigo had been avoiding her all day, but had never guessed it would be that. She wondered what had spurred it on, for that stupid boy to finally decide he had feelings for her. Truthfully, she'd been glad he was putting off the realization, for she knew that she now had to come to terms with her own feelings as well, the ones that sometimes kept her up at night, especially now that she felt so far away from him.

She'd grown quite used to be able to slide the closet door open at night just to confirm he was still there, sleeping peacefully. His quiet breathing was enough to lull her to sleep any night, and no matter how many times she teased him about snoring, he rarely did. Yuzu was another matter . . . but that wasn't the only reason she wanted to be back in his closet. She enjoyed living with him, basically being his roommate. That was what she missed most, his constant presence, that continual wash of leaking reiatsu that he never bothered to find a way to rein in.

"Baka," she murmured, drawing her knees in a little tighter.

She then came to her feet, knowing he couldn't avoid her forever, though if she didn't intervene he might try to. She rattled his locked door knob again, then pounded on the door, calling out, "Na, Ichigo!"

To her surprise, the door opened instantly, and Ichigo leapt from the room, pouncing on her and pulling her into a tight hug.

"Ichi-" she began, but quickly realized her mistake as 'Ichigo"' called out "Nee-san!"

"Kon," she growled, pushing him off of her and standing on his head, "where's Ichigo?"

"Dunno," Kon said, his idiot smile firmly in place as he nuzzled against her foot. "He just popped me into his body and left."

"That . . . bakamono!" she muttered, half cursing herself. She should have anticipated this reaction, especially since he'd run away immediately after kissing her.

Now that she wasn't lost in thought and actually tried, she could sense his reiatsu; a bit distant, but still strong.

_There wasn't a hollow_, she thought. _He must have just wanted to get away._

For a moment she wondered if she should respect his want to be alone, but she then reminded herself that he was stupid, and she should trust her own instincts in handling this delicate manner much more than his.

Another moment of indecision, then Rukia released Kon, then popped Chappy into her own body, hoping the two of them wouldn't cause too much havoc if left alone together. She could always use her memory modifier if things got too far out of hand, but she had no control of what memories it would give Ichigo's family, and possibly the surrounding neighborhood, and didn't want to unless it was absolutely necessary. Besides, she needed to use shunpo to get there quickly, and having people seeing her gigai, still in its schoolgirl outfit, seemingly appearing and disappearing in random places would necessitate a need to modify some memories much more than a potential pyon battle would.

She jumped out his already open window, using shunpo to quickly reach her destination, a small grove of trees in a park a few kilometers from Ichigo's house. Ichigo had his back to her, and since she doubted he would sense her reiatsu she took a breath and called out, "Ichigo," her tone asking if he wanted to talk.

His reaction wasn't quite what she'd expected. He spun to face her, his expression shocked and . . . fearful?

"Rukia!" he called out, his voice slightly desperate. Then he shifted.

She felt it this time, the difference in his reiatsu subtle but definitely there. His expression changed to a wide smile, and he was suddenly beside her, tossing her sword away and pinning her against a tree.

"Rukia," he said again, but this time she could hear the hollow in his voice, the odd, evil tone that seemed to echo against itself.

And then he kissed her, and she realized why Ichigo hadn't wanted to talk to her. **He** hadn't kissed her. His hollow, this _thing_, had been the one to hold his body against hers, the one to leave her lips burning. It was the same, rough and forceful, demanding and dominating, and it scared Rukia more than she ever thought a kiss from Ichigo could. No, this wasn't Ichigo. She couldn't forget that.

Rukia found she couldn't move, not only from the fear and shock, but because the hollow was using Ichigo's body quite effectively to keep her still, to make sure he kept the upper hand. His nearness was painful, especially since it wasn't actually him.

The hollow ended the kiss, but not the assault. He leaned in to bite at the lobe of her ear, then began trailing kisses and bites down her neck. She was breathing roughly, and she didn't seem to be able to close her eyes. She couldn't quite come to terms with what was happening to her, and no matter how many times she told herself this wasn't him, she was having a hard time keeping herself from lapsing into a fantasy where Ichigo was the one making her heart pound and her breathing difficult.

His mouth had found the collar of her kimono, and she was terrified for a moment of just how far he intended to take this, when he suddenly released her, stepping back, eyes downcast. Rukia blinked twice, feeling her eyes water, wondering if Ichigo had regained control like he had last time the hollow had kissed her. Then he met her eyes, and spoke.

"I'll stop. I can see you don't like this. But . . . I just wanted to touch you. Just wanted you to notice me."

Before Rukia could react or even comprehend the words, she felt his reiatsu change, and it was suddenly Ichigo standing before her. He looked away from her, then turned back, and she could see him struggle to meet her eyes, shame working its way into his expression.

"Rukia," he murmured, and she could suddenly breathe again, his familiar voice the final thing needed to confirm that he was okay.

"Ichigo," she said, then found she was the one turning away, unable to meet his eyes.

There was a long silence that neither seemed to be able to break, then Ichigo spoke suddenly, his tone quiet.

"Rukia, I-" he paused and took in a breath, as if what he was trying to say cost him a great deal. Then he spoke again, his tone quiet, but decisive.

"Tasukete."

* * *

A/N: The phrase "sharp pants" (which was in the first draft) makes my beta/sister laugh, because as I was reading the story aloud she pictured it, well, literally. So as Rukia is ravaged, she breathes sharp trousers at her attacker. Sexy.

**Translation Notes:**

_Na_ - basically, hey, yo; masculine way of saying it

___Shinigami daikou_ - substitute death god/soul reaper

_Shunpo_ - flash step

_Reiatsu_ - spirit energy, spirit power

_Baka_ - moron, idiot, stupid . . .you name it, it means it (depends upon tone of speaker)

_Bakamono_ - complete idiot; literally 'stupid thing'

_Tasukete_ - help me


	3. Confused Feelings

A/N: I'm referring to the hollow as "Hichigo", if you didn't already guess that. And any thoughts from him when he's not in control are _*italics surrounded by __asterisks*_, just to make that more clear. Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Three: Confused Feelings**

As soon as they got back to Ichigo's house, Ichigo reclaimed his body from Kon and shut himself in his room, though he didn't lock the door this time. Rukia understood. Tasukete . . . Rukia had never before heard that word leave Ichigo's lips, and she knew that was all he could give at the moment, the acknowledgment that he couldn't do this on his own. And until they could think of something to do, it was best that he stayed away from her.

Yuzu was in their shared room, so Rukia retreated to the bathroom instead, needing to be alone. Pacing across the tile, she tried not to catch her reflection in the mirror, wanting to get a hold on her thoughts. Her heart hurt for a reason she couldn't quite understand. No, that wasn't right. She understood it perfectly well. She just didn't want to come to terms with it.

She wanted _Ichigo_ to kiss her.

That was it. Plain and simple. But as long as Ichigo had this problem with his inner hollow, she knew they could never have a relationship. She couldn't be his if she had to wonder every time if it was really Ichigo who held her in his arms.

She stopped pacing and took a seat on the toilet lid, assuming her favorite thinking position: knees pulled to her chest, arms around them, chin tucked in. Her thoughts took on a softer tone as she pushed deeper into her real feelings.

_I wonder . . . I wonder if he liked kissing me. Even if he was only watching. Even though it wasn't really him._

Her expression was calm, serious, her eyes half-closed as she lost herself in her thoughts. She finally decided that the best thing to do would be to give Ichigo a bit of hope, a possible solution. She came to her feet, stepping down the hall and knocking on his door. He didn't answer, but she knew he was listening.

"Ichigo, I think we should go to Urahara tomorrow. He might know what to do."

There was a long pause, then she heard Ichigo's quiet response.

"Okay."

She knew he was ashamed of his actions, of his lack of control, his inability to protect her from himself. But Urahara should be able to do something to help. Rukia paused outside Ichigo's door for a moment more, then went to her room, deciding that chatting with Yuzu would be as good a thing as any to get her mind off what was going on.

#

_*Hey, King. You know that old man can't do anything to help ya, right?*_

Ichigo didn't answer the hollow, merely turned over onto his other side. But he knew the hollow was right. If Urahara could have done something, he would have approached Ichigo by then. In the past he'd always been in the right place when Ichigo needed him; every time Ichigo was having problems with his powers, familiar old gettaboshi was there.

_But not this time_, Ichigo thought._ There's no way he hasn't noticed. So it must be that he can't do anything to help me._

Still, it could be worthwhile to visit him, or at least to keep the shred of hope that the idea gave him for just a little longer. It was possible that, upon closer inspection, Urahara would be able to pull something out of his magic bag. It was even possible that he'd had been waiting for Ichigo to admit his problem before offering his help. Either way, Ichigo wasn't exactly looking forward to telling Urahara the reason behind the hollow's increased activity.

His cheeks colored as this thought brought a sudden remembrance of just what the hollow had done. Kissing Rukia again . . . the first time he'd been too shocked to really notice anything. But this time, despite all the energy he'd been putting into trying to get control of his body back, he'd been able to feel everything. Her lips on his had been surprisingly nice. . . .

_No, she's just my friend. We . . . we aren't like that._

But the more he repeated it, the more this statement began to lose its power. Whether Ichigo wanted it or not, his hollow had opened his mind to a new possibility. Could Rukia be more than just a friend to him? Did he . . . did he actually have feelings for her? Was that it not that the hollow was stronger around her, but that he was weaker?

_*Having fun with your thoughts there?*_

Ichigo sat up, brow furrowed in anger. _Why? Why do you have to do this? Why do you have to wreck my life?_

_*Because it shouldn't be _your_ life. It should be mine. I'm stronger, and you don't deserve any of it. You don't deserve to be in control, and you certainly don't deserve **her**.*_

Ichigo's temper flared higher at the mention of Rukia, but before he could react he found he was suddenly in the sideways world of his mind. His hollow stood across from him, dressed in his white shinigami robes, already wielding Zangetsu.

"It's time for you to lose your throne, King. I'll show you just how weak you really are."

#

Rukia awoke early and crept from her room, careful not to make a sound. It was a weekend, so both twins were still abed, something Rukia was glad for. It would make it much easier to sneak from the house if no one else was awake, and if something happened again, then Rukia would rather that there were no witnesses for her using bakudou on Ichigo.

She knocked lightly on his door, then stepped into the room. He lay on his side with his back to her, still asleep.

"Na, Ichigo. Wake up," she said, stepping over to him and shoving him lightly on the shoulder. He didn't respond, but she'd expected this response. Ichigo was not a morning person.

"Come on, I want to get you in to Urahara as soon as possible," she continued, grabbing his shoulder and turning him forcibly over on his back. His eyes flew open, and she could have sworn that for an instant the irises were yellow. Then he sat up, meeting her eyes with his familiar chocolate brown, furrowing his brows and glaring at her.

"You make it sound like I'm a car or something," he muttered, running his hand through his sleep-mussed hair.

Rukia breathed again, putting the bakudo she'd been rehearsing farther back in her mind. It was still him, at least for now.

#

Hichigo pulled Zangetsu from the King's body, a wide smile spreading across his face. No, that nickname needed to be changed, for the so-called 'King' lay bleeding on the ground, eyes wide in pain and defeat.

Looking down at the pathetic form at his feet, Hichigo smirked, then began to laugh, his strange echoing cackle ringing throughout the otherwise silent world.

"And now I take the throne," he said quietly, knowing Ichigo heard him, even if he couldn't move or respond at the moment.

The shift in power wouldn't be permanent; Hichigo hadn't inflicted nearly enough damage to make it so. Despite all his taunts, he knew it wasn't yet time to completely destroy Ichigo. The 'King' still served a purpose, though Hichigo hated admitting it. As long as Ichigo still existed in this world, Hichigo could use him to mask his presence, to make it so no one would be able to easily detect that Ichigo was no longer in command of his body. Without him, Hichigo's reiatsu and bright yellow eyes would shine through, and his plans would be ruined.

"Just wait here for a while, former King. I'm only borrowing the throne, after all."

Hichigo felt another cackle coming on, but didn't have time to gloat any more. He suddenly sensed Rukia trying to wake Ichigo from his 'sleep'.

"And now, time to dance with my Queen," Hichigo murmured, closing his eyes and taking himself from the inner world he'd come to call his hated home. When he opened his eyes again, it was to look up at Rukia. The sudden shock of her nearness made the shift a little less graceful than it could have been, but Hichigo quickly recovered, slipping into Ichigo's persona with a scowl and a grumble.

He saw her relax, and mentally smiled. A little flash of yellow in his eyes apparently wasn't enough to scare her off, probably because she was already expecting Ichigo to be fighting for control a bit. Though Hichigo wished that he could leave his eyes yellow, could take her in his arms while being completely himself. If only she wouldn't be repulsed, wouldn't try to restrain him or destroy him.

He considered for a single moment taking the approach he'd gone about yesterday, before he'd stopped himself. Going straight for her, restraining her and capturing those lips again, and possibly demanding more this time.

_Delicacy_, he told himself. _Patience. Taking her now would only produce an undesirable result. I have to try to get her to understand the situation, to accept it. Force is to be held as a last resort for getting what I want._

After a quick change of clothes and a few minutes in the bathroom, Hichigo left the house with Rukia, mentally perching a crown on his head at a jaunty angle. He was the King, at least for now.

* * *

**Translation Notes:**

_Bakudou_ - binding spell


	4. In Control

**Chapter Four: In Control**

Hichigo's first priority was to keep Rukia from taking him to Urahara. Although he, like Ichigo, doubted the old man could do anything to bind him back, he was almost certain that Gettaboshi would be able to tell who was really in control of Ichigo's body at the moment. He therefore had to find a way to convince her to take a different action. He pondered this for a moment, then a wide smile spread across his face. He pulled his shoes on and stepped toward Rukia, who was standing just outside the front door, checking her spirit phone.

_I can use that idiot's own uncertainties. What better way to make it sound as if it's actually him talking._

"Rukia," he said, trading his smile for Ichigo's scowl.

"Nani?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder at him.

"I've been thinking, last night and this morning, and I don't think visiting Urahara will do us any good."

"Why?" she asked, slipping her phone into her shirt pocket and turning to face him. He stuck his hands in his pockets, not meeting her gaze, doing his best to impersonate Ichigo, and succeeding. After all, who knew him better than his inner darkness?

"Well, every other time I've had a problem, like with Kon or when you got taken back to Soul Society, he always came to me on his own," he said, lowering his voice as a couple walked past on the sidewalk.

"So?" she asked. Hichigo gritted his teeth. She wasn't making this easy. Why couldn't she just accept his opinions as the best on the subject?

_Because if this was easy, it wouldn't be fun_, he reminded himself, running a hand through Ichigo's hair.

"I think if he could help, he would have already. I mean, he would have at least come to me and told me what to do."

"Maybe he was waiting for you to admit your problem, to go to him," Rukia said, sounding as if she was trying to be reassuring.

_Damn, she had to find that flaw_, Hichigo thought, both cursing and appreciating her intelligence.

"Come on; even if he can't help directly, he may be able to tell you things you can try," she said, gesturing toward the sidewalk, trying to get him to start walking.

_Double damn. The last thing I need is Urahara giving that idiot ideas._

At this thought, he checked on the King. He was still unconscious, but Hichigo didn't know how long that would last.

_Should be a while, I didn't hold back much. Just enough to keep him breathing._

Pushing the King to the back of his mind, he turned his thoughts to the situation at hand. He didn't want to seem reluctant to go, didn't want to give her any reason to suspect him, not yet.

_I'll just have to make sure to mask myself completely. The King better not wake up and start yelling either, or I swear I'll just kill him off; to hell with this hiding behind him stuff._

He clenched his jaw, then gave in and started walking. Rukia, who seemed relieved, followed him. They'd opted earlier to go in their human forms-though that meant they couldn't use shunpo, they also didn't have to worry about leaving Chappy and Kon behind again. Those two hadn't caused too much havoc yesterday, but it was better not to tempt fate. Hichigo was glad to remain in this form, for although he was sure he could hold the King back, switching to his shinigami form might wake Ichigo up prematurely.

_And right now, he'd probably be stronger in that form, seeing as he's the one currently keeping Zangetsu company._

The short walk to Urahara Shoten was accompanied by an uncomfortable silence. Rukia didn't bring up any topics of conversation, and the only things Hichigo wanted to talk about would be inappropriate for his current guise of Ichigo, as they would probably give him away.

_Though I would like to know what shampoo she uses_, Hichigo thought as a breeze caught her hair and drifted a light scent toward his nostrils. _Not quite floral, hmm, kinda sweet. It couldn't be . . . strawberries?_

He quickly directed his thoughts elsewhere. They were nearly at Urahara Shoten anyway, so he had other things to focus on-like hiding his presence better.

_Meh, even if the old man senses a bit of hollow, that's to be expected. I mean, that is why we're visiting him, after all._

Hichigo was no longer even the slightest bit worried about being found out. While the King was sleeping, it was easy to manipulate him.

A sudden beeping drew Hichigo from his thoughts. He recognized the sound; he didn't even need to see Rukia taking her spirit phone from her shirt to know what it meant. Hollow.

"Ichigo," she called out, taking out her soul candy dispenser.

"Yeah," he said, knowing he had no choice if he wanted to keep her from knowing she wasn't actually addressing Ichigo. He took the shinigami daikou badge and smacked it against his chest. His control wavered for a moment, but he quickly regained it, though he was glad the King was still unconscious, or else he would probably have had to fight for it again.

They left Chappy to take care of Ichigo's empty body, using a few quick shunpo to reach the hollow. Hichigo couldn't help but smile. He'd wanted to fight, had been aching to wield Zangetsu in a world besides the sideways one he called his home. And this was the perfect chance to prove to Rukia that 'Ichigo' was fully in control even in shinigami form, that they didn't need to visit Urahara.

He knew he should probably just take the damn thing out with a quick blow to the head, but he couldn't help but play around a bit. He'd been craving a real battle for so long, and although the weak hollow obviously wasn't going to provide a fight to fit with his desires, he would try to enjoy killing it as much as he could.

Rukia stood a bit away, watching him, and though he had restrained the wide grins and maniacal cackles he'd wanted to let loose, he knew she was beginning to wonder why he didn't just cleanse the hollow already.

_Fine_, he thought, bringing his sword up in preparation to give the fatal blow.

Then he suddenly found he couldn't move his arm. No, it wasn't just the arm; his expression too was frozen, though in a look of shock unlike the smirk he'd been wearing as he prepared to kill. Then he found himself in the sideways world of Ichigo's mind, his sword still raised, eyes still wide. Said King stood across from him, leaning on his own sword, panting from the exertion of winning back his soul.

The King had woken up.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this is short, but I wrote it really quick before going camping, and now I have to go!

**Translation Notes:**

_Gettaboshi_ - the nickname Ichigo has for Urahara; "hat and clogs" in the dub

_Nani_ - what

_Urahara Shoten_ - Urahara's store

_Shinigami daikou_ - substitute death god/soul reaper


	5. Weakness

**Chapter Five: Weakness**

Rukia ran forward as Ichigo fell to the ground, pulling her sword out and dealing the slash he couldn't. The hollow faded away with one last unearthly howl, letting Rukia focus on Ichigo.

She stepped over to him, sheathing her sword and kneeling beside him. He lay on his back, face blank, a battle playing itself out in his open eyes as the irises shifted between brown and yellow. Black threatened to overtake the white of his left eye completely.

"Ichigo!" she cried, but he didn't react. She swallowed, casting about for something to do.

_I could go for help, but if I leave him here . . . what if I come back and it isn't him?_

She bit her lip, surprised to find she was fighting back tears. She just felt so useless lately, whenever she was with him. Every time he had something to overcome, every time he was in danger or struggled, she could never help him. She was the one who had put him in so much peril in the first place; his normal life had been taken away because of her weakness, her inability to protect him. And now he was going through one of the most dangerous battles of his life, and she could once again do nothing.

A sudden movement behind her brought Rukia quickly to her feet, feeling for the hilt of her sword.

"Need some help?" Urahara asked, leaning on Benihime and giving her a calm smile.

"Urahara," she murmured, never having been happier to see the disreputable salesman.

Tessai stepped around her, easily lifting Ichigo's unmoving body, tossing the shinigami over his shoulder like a spiky-haired bag of flour.

"We found these two on our way here," Urahara said casually, motioning over his shoulder at Chappy, who was carrying Ichigo's empty body as easily as Tessai had lifted his shinigami form.

Rukia didn't respond, still too shocked by this turn of circumstance. Urahara had shown up just when he was needed, for once.

_But once again, someone else is helping Ichigo. It's not me._

Rukia pushed this thought away, fighting through her self-pity and following Urahara in what looked like a very strange parade.

_At least we're close to Urahara Shoten_, she thought, just hoping that none of her classmates would see what looked like "Kuchiki-san" carting around Ichigo's dead body.

Once they reached the shop, Tessai lay Ichigo out on an already-prepared futon. It seemed they'd been expecting something like this to happen. Urahara drew Rukia aside to talk, although what he had to say did little to reassure her.

"There's really nothing I can do for him in his current condition. Anything I could try would most likely do irreparable damage to his mind, if not his soul. He has to get himself out, beat the hollow back enough that it won't be able to take him over again."

Rukia stared across the room at where Ichigo lay on his futon, his face blank and lifeless, though his eyes still showed the inner battle he was undergoing.

Is this . . . is this all because of me? The hollow . . . both times he came out he went straight for me. Am I his motivation?

The thought frightened and sickened her. She was once again the reason Ichigo was struggling.

Urahara seemed to notice her pain. He reached out and tousled her hair, then patted her on the back, smiling down at her.

"It'll be okay. Kurosaki-san is strong. Just believe in him."

Rukia glanced up at him, feeling slightly better, though her worries weren't because of a lack of faith. She had plenty of that, knowing how strong Ichigo was. She looked back at his lifeless form once more, then left the room. She couldn't stand to see him like that anymore.

#

Hichigo quickly recovered from his surprise, unconcerned. So the King had woken up a little early. Big deal. He could easily be dealt with. It wouldn't even be a problem recovering Rukia's trust, for she probably had expected 'the hollow' to make a grab for power. That was what he would pass it off as, as soon as 'Ichigo'was in control once more. As soon as he beat the King back again..

"You're lookin' a little worse for the wear there, King," Hichigo called out, knowing that this battle would depend upon mental state as much as sword skill.

_And I'm stronger, no matter what. I underestimated him a little, but that doesn't change anything. My skills are better, my sword is sharper, and my cause is stronger. I will win this battle again. I have to, before he can find a way to hold me back._

The King smiled.

Hichigo swallowed hard, narrowing his gaze, knowing that the time for jokes was over. Ichigo was in that determined state of mind where he was most dangerous. This battle would be close.

"Bankai!" Hichigo called out, getting serious right away. The King mirrored him, his movements only slight delayed.

Hichigo instantly leapt for him, making a wide slash that the King blocked easily, parrying and making Hichigo jump backward. He dodged to the side and came for Ichigo again, putting all his strength behind his sword.

And then the black blade pressed against the white. Hichigo's eyes opened wide in shock as he fought to push the King back. The King's eyes were calm, the blood on his face dry. It seemed the wounds Hichigo had inflicted last time were already healed.

_Kuso_, Hichigo swore, having to dodge another attack instantly after getting away. The next one caught him unprepared with a long slice across his abdomen. He gritted his teeth, ignoring the pain the best he could.

The mirror had changed; Ichigo had somehow gotten ahead, and Hichigo was left trying desperately to evade the attacks that came like lightning. It was as if the speed that bankai normally gave hadn't come to Hichigo, who found himself struggling to even track Ichigo's blade. Blood dripped down his arms, making his grip on his blade uncertain, his fingers slipping in the red that shone bright against his white skin and robes. His blade was still unmarked however; he hadn't landed even one hit on the King.

"Is that all you've got?" he spat, panting, glaring at the King who stood watching him from afar.

Stupid question, but it was in his nature to taunt, to act like all these wounds were nothing. He'd at least managed to turn away from most of them, so they were light, barely affecting him. He still had a chance of winning. He was still stronger.

Then Ichigo was behind him, a split second movement that Hichigo hadn't been able to track. Another swift movement before Hichigo could react, and the entire length of the black bankai stabbed through where his heart would have been, if he'd had one.

Hichigo found he couldn't breathe. He choked, trying to speak, still not believing what had happened.

"It's over," Ichigo whispered from behind him, removing the sword. Hichigo fell to his knees, only holding himself up by plunging his blade into the ground.

"Not yet," Hichigo panted, tasting blood.

Ichigo watched him, an almost pitying look on his face. Hichigo felt anger bring his spirits back up. How dare the King pity him? He was the one who was strong. He was. . . .

A last thought flickered through his head, one last thing he could do, though unleashing such an attack within Ichigo's mind could have disastrous results for them both.

Hichigo removed his hand from his sword and brought it up, the open palm facing Ichigo. He didn't take the time to power it up, needing the element of surprise for this to work, only hoping that this attack would be strong enough to turn the tide of this battle. With as much malice as he could muster in his current state, Hichigo called out the command word.

"Cero."

Ichigo's sudden look of shock and fear was swallowed by a sea of blinding red light, and Hichigo found he once again couldn't move, falling forward as he lost his grip on his sword.


	6. Lost

A/N: The whole idea about Hichigo being born of certain instincts I stole from rukianeesan. But that's okay, because she's the one I'm writing this for in the first place. And I have her permission to steal her random ponderings, as long as she gets Hichirukiness.

And while trying to write this, I wrote a completely unrelated short Hichiruki fic. You can check it out if you want, but I warn you, it's dark. It's called "Kitten".

I'm trying to write longer chapters, but it just isn't working. My mind works in short scenes. So sorry, this is only 3 1/2 pages in Word, but that's how it's going to stay. Anyway, on with it.

* * *

**Chapter Six: Lost**

When his vision finally cleared, the King was gone. Hichigo lay on the ground, looking up at the empty world around him, unable to even despair. He understood what had happened. Forced into a bad situation, Ichigo had fled from the attack in the only way he could: back into the real world. In the end, the king had earned his throne.

A painful calm took hold of Hichigo. It was as if he'd felt too much over the past few days, and was now unable to feel anything, even at his loss. His mind kept turning over the same few thoughts, his confusion swirling in dark mental clouds as he lay alone for an infinite time, his wounds slowly healing. There was no way Ichigo was stronger than him. Ichigo, who didn't appreciate all he had. Ichigo, who never seemed to realize just how lucky he was.

A sudden roll of thunder echoed in the empty sky above him, which was slowly filling with clouds. He nearly smiled. Perhaps something was finally going his way, for his thoughts seemed to be reflected in the weather of this world, though no rain fell; Hichigo couldn't bring himself to feel enough to cry. He wasn't even sure if hollows could, though he at least knew they weren't supposed to feel the things he had for the past few months.

_Well, hollows are born from and made of instinct. Mixed in with all the anger and pain must be something of the desperation I was born from, the need to protect her._

Something approaching a smile split his face, though nothing of it reached his eyes.

_He created me this way, as stubborn as him. I lost this battle, but not the war. I can still fight again._

He finally pulled himself up, until he was standing on shaking feet beneath the clearing sky.

_But does there even need to be a war? What if . . . what if there was a way we could just compromise?_

Then he laughed, a sound that had no humor in it, and left a bitter taste in his mouth.

_Am I sure I wasn't born of useless dreams, 'cause that's all I seem to be able to come up with. No plans, no real solutions. Just wishes and hopes that are sure to fail, and quite unbecoming of a hollow._

He felt naked without Zangetsu at his side, so he summoned the sword up, a mirror image of the one Ichigo held, the one Ichigo had defeated him with. . . .

_Get OUT of it! Drop the self-pity shit and just get strong enough to beat him! You don't deserve her if you can't at least do that much!_

After giving himself a thorough mental beating, he felt a bit more like his old self, not so lost in angst and useless emotions. He just had to keep his objective in mind: control, and all the benefits that came with it. Including her. But she was only a small part of the real goal. He needed to get the throne back, no matter what it took.

#

When Ichigo opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was a familiar room, a place in which he'd awakened several times after getting himself into bad situations.

"Back in this shack, eh," he murmured, though he couldn't help but be relieved at the thought.

"Shack!" a dreadfully familiar voice near him cried out. Ichigo's eyes widened as Tessai's face entered his field of vision, eyebrows slanted in an angry scowl.

"I mean, quiet charming, uh, well-kept store," Ichigo said quickly, trying to sink through his pillow as Tessai's face got even closer to his.

"Tessai, you don't need to make him regret waking up," Urahara said, leaning in the doorway, hat and casual smile firmly in place. His eyes however showed a fierce concentration on the now-awake Ichigo.

"Hmmph," Tessai said, giving Ichigo one last glare before leaning back and reassuming his seated position next to the futon Ichigo lay on.

"I'm assuming it is Ichigo I'm talking to," Urahara continued, stepping into the room and flicking his fan open.

Ichigo sat up slowly, ignoring his sore muscles to give Urahara a determined look. Urahara chuckled.

"Thought so. I think everyone around felt it when you finally got that inner hollow of yours under control," he said, his voice still high and lighthearted as ever, though his eyes remained grave, slightly troubled

Urahara looked toward Tessai and an unspoken communication opened up. After a moment, Tessai nodded and came to his feet, leaving the room and sliding the door shut behind him. Urahara took his place, sitting cross-legged next to Ichigo.

"You know that's only temporary, right?" he said in a low tone, his smile slipping away, transformed into a serious tone and a steady gaze.

Ichigo nodded, looking away for a moment. Already he could feel the hollow stirring again. His head ached.

"Is there . . . is there a way I can beat him back for good?" Ichigo murmured, unused to asking others for assistance. He hated feeling so weak, unable to do things on his own, unable to help those he'd sworn to protect.

Urahara leaned back, scratching his chin and looking thoughtful. Ichigo suspected he was just buying time before delivering the bad news; he'd had plenty of time to think things over while Ichigo was unconscious.

"There is . . . one way," Urahara said, almost reluctantly. He met Ichigo's eyes, and Ichigo found he couldn't read anything in that gaze. He waited for Urahara to speak again, afraid to get his hopes up prematurely.

"It's very dangerous. You risk losing yourself in the process."

Ichigo scoffed. "I already have to worry about that."

Urahara smiled again. "True. That generally seems to be the case when one is placed in this position; the risk the hollow presents is enough to almost make the decision for you."

"So you know I'll do it, right?" Ichigo said quickly, not wanting to stall and trade words any longer. If there was a way, any way, he needed to do it now, while the hollow was still weak. He'd just barely won this time. . . .

"When you haven't even heard what you need to do yet?" Urahara asked, meeting his eyes again. He laughed at the determined, almost dangerous look Ichigo gave him.

"I expected as much. Still, you needed to make the choice."

He came quickly to his feet then, surprising Ichigo.

"No more beating around the bush then. Let's get to it."

Ichigo pushed his covers away and rose, following Urahara from the room.

"I have some . . . friends that I'll need to put you in touch with," he said, his tone unreadable. Ichigo clenched his jaw, determined to do whatever was needed to control his hollow, to protect her from himself.

#

Rukia stopped suddenly as soon as she stepped into the room. Ichigo's futon was empty, his blankets tossed carelessly to the side, as if he'd left in a hurry.

She sensed Urahara coming up behind her, and she spun around, her expression questioning, her eyes angry.

"Where is he?"

Urahara didn't seem surprised; he had expected this reaction. This just angered Rukia more. Rather than risking the wrath of the four-foot-nine shinigami, he answered quickly, "He's learning to control his hollow."

She suddenly looked away, unwelcome memories rising to the surface. She forced out the next few words, not wanting the fear to show in her tone.

"Why didn't you tell me . . . when he woke up?"

Her voice was quiet, the anger gone, replaced by a painful vulnerability. Urahara paused, then sighed, knowing he had to give it her straight. She wouldn't want him to lie, or give her an excuse to soften the blow.

"I couldn't risk the hollow seeing you and gaining control again. I'm pretty sure even the sight of you would give it the strength to fight Ichigo."

"Him," Rukia murmured, then caught herself. The hollow wasn't a him, wasn't a person. Urahara was correct in stripping it of an identity. She needed to separate **it** from Ichigo, needed to stop thinking about **it**, especially the look in its eyes, right before it had given control back to Ichigo. When it had said it wanted her to notice it . . . no. It was a ploy, using Ichigo's face to warp her emotions. By thinking about it, she was giving it exactly what it wanted, and she was betraying Ichigo.

Urahara was waiting for her to respond. She managed a falsely calm, "Oh, I see", then turned away completely, leaving the narrow hallway for the front porch. She needed to be alone, to collect her thoughts and drive it from her mind for good, just as Ichigo was doing.

* * *

A/N: Goodness, the angst. But all three POV's in one chapter! Next time it will be more Ichigo and Hichigo, and maybe I'll do something about that Cero Hichigo fired off. We shall see.


	7. Things to Come

**Chapter Seven: Things To Come**

They called themselves the visored; at least, that was what Urahara had said. He hadn't explained much past that, nothing about who they were, how they could help, or why Urahara couldn't just do whatever it was they were to do. He just led Ichigo to an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of town, and left him in his shinigami form to speak his case.

"It may take a few days," Urahara said as he was leaving, "so I'll get Rukia to put Kon in your real body so your family doesn't get suspicious."

Ichigo didn't exactly look forward to cleaning up after this, but it was the best way to keep his family, especially Yuzu, content. Besides, he had bigger things to worry about at the moment than Kon's lack of self-control. Like his own lack of self-control.

As soon as Urahara was gone, Ichigo stepped into the dark building, illuminated only by the light coming in through the raised garage door from the setting sun. Shortly even this light was cut off, for as soon as he'd cleared the doorway, the metal door slid down with a loud rattling that echoed in the vastness of the warehouse. He looked around, noticing despite the difficulty in discerning shapes in the dim lighting that there were several floors to the building, all laid open, as if something had smashed its way down through half of the structure. Then a figure stepped forward on one of the higher floors and began speaking in a laid-back male voice.

"Well, this is convenient. Just as we're coordinating efforts on what would be the best way to get ya to join us, you deliver yourself in a nice little shinigami package. How nice of you."

The voice paused, as if to let the gravity of the words sink in. Ichigo hadn't found anything impressive about the statement, despite the speaker's terrible use of metaphor, so he merely stood there, and waited for whoever was talking to continue.

"Anyway, my name's Shinji, and we're-"

The voice was then cut off abruptly as someone else leapt from the shadows and hit the silhouetted speaker over the head with something.

"Quit acting like you're the leader, baldy!" a somewhat gruff female voice called out. Shinji barely avoided falling off the edge of the floor he was standing on.

"Hiyori?" Shinji called out, his casual calm voice reduced to a shrill stutter.

"And drop the aura of mystery," she continued, then turned to yell over her shoulder at the darkness behind her. "Hachi, turn the lights on!"

"Hai-desu," a deep voice sighed. Flourescent overhead lighting suddenly came on, momentarily blinding Ichigo. He squinted up at the upper floors the best he could until his eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness.

There were eight of them, all standing on various floors and staring down at Ichigo, making him feel as if he was spotlit. Shinji was revealed to be a boy about Ichigo's age with a blond bob and a wide mouth, which was currently frowning down at Hiyori, a rather cat-like girl more than a head shorter than Shinji, with dirty-blonde hair pulled up into a pair of spikey ponytails and a zanpaktou strapped to her back.

Taking this in, Ichigo's eyes tracked the others, and widened. Those two on their own seemed to be odd enough, if not in appearance, at least in demeanor, but the rest . . . it wasn't that they were indescribable, it was just that the range of strangeness left Ichigo almost at a loss for words, even mental ones. Technically, they all could have blended in at the average Japanese high school, but it was a shock to suddenly see them all together. This was who Urahara said could help him?

"Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Shinji began, but another hit on the head with Hiyori's shoe- -it appeared to be a flip flop- -silenced him once again.

"Shut up, baldy," she said again, crouching and turning her attention down to Ichigo, making him feel as if he should shrink back a bit under the power of her catlike glare.

"We're the visored. We're the ones who're gonna see if it's worth it to help ya suppress that inner hollow of yours."

Shinji cut in almost instantly, barely giving Ichigo time to comprehend what she'd just said.

"Well, seeing as it's a personal request from Urahara, I don't think we really have to test him . . ." Shinji said, ducking away from Hiyori before she could hit him again.

"It's a rule, baldy! Besides, we need to see what level his reiatsu is at!"

"You can tell that already, he's venting it all over the place!" Shinji said, dropping his casual calm manner to yell at her. Ichigo suddenly seemed to be all but forgotten. Even the others were now directing their attention from Ichigo to Shinji and Hiyori's argument. As much as he enjoyed the relief from the pressure that their collective gaze had caused, he could feel the hollow stirring within him, almost as if reminding him of his purpose.

"Ano . . . " Ichigo said, trying to get Shinji's attention, but the boy seemed fully focused on his current task of shouting at Hiyori and the occasional flip flop.

"Ignore them," a voice behind him said. He spun around to find the source of his startlement: one of the others, a girl who looked about his age with glasses and a long black braid. She was wearing a school uniform, but Ichigo didn't recognize it as belonging to any of the schools in the area. She held a zanpaktou loosely in her left hand, which along with her stony expression, reformed Ichigo's thoughts about her perhaps being just a typical meek schoolgirl. He regarded her warily.

"They're always like that," the girl continued, her attention directed up at the fight rather than at Ichigo.

"Wha-" Ichigo began, but she cut him off with an introduction.

"I'm Yadoumaru Lisa," she said, breaking her sober expression by smiling slightly. He felt a bit of relief at this touch of normalcy, and it must have shown on his face, for her next statement served to put him on guard again. "And I'm no more sane than they are. I just have better manners."

Ichigo tried to make some sort of response to this, but any witty lines or comebacks seemed to be caught in a croaking noise in the back of his throat. It didn't seem to matter, however, as Lisa just kept talking, her gaze once again focused on the fight occurring a few levels up.

"Ah, looks like Hachi's breaking them up."

Ichigo followed her line of vision to see a large man with pink hair separating the two battling blondes, or at least attempting to. His size seemed to be the only thing he had over them, seeing as his pleas for peace and weak gestures weren't actually helping matters. All he really changed was that the flip flops and insults were temporarily focused at him instead of either of the instigators.

"Or not," Lisa sighed, stepping forward and reaching up to pull her bangs out of her face. Or, at least, that was what Ichigo thought she was doing, until she suddenly brought her hand down sharply, and a strong feeling of evil reiatsu filled the room. Ichigo started and fumbled for his zanpaktou, but no one else seemed to have even noticed. Uneasy, Ichigo glanced around, seeing nothing out of place, though all his senses screamed hollow.

Lisa used a quick step of what looked like shunpo to easily reach the upper levels, putting herself in profile to Ichigo as she did. A bony white mask obscured her face. Ichigo's breath caught in his chest. It looked just like what happened to him when the hollow took over, yet she seemed to still be in control.

_How did she do it?_ he thought frantically, trying to recall the moment the hollow reiatsu had filled the room. It looked like she'd just pulled the mask over her face, drawing it up out of nowhere. Could he control his hollow in the same manner, by calling and using it, instead of letting it take him over? The problem was, he didn't know how he would do this, doubting it would follow his orders or let him use it. Was that what they were going to teach him?

As these desperate thoughts darted about in his mind, Lisa used her zanpaktou and several choice threats in her echoing hollow voice to attempt to end the fight. Finally, Shinji sighed and plopped down on the edge of the broken floor, glaring up at Hiyori, who folded her arms and gave an irritated sigh, still holding a flip flop and wearing an expression that dared those around her to give her a reason to practice her aim further.

Ichigo cleared his throat to make his presence known again. Shinji turned at the sound, directing his attention away from Hiyori and sighing with irritation, with good reason. His previously smooth hair was now quite ruffled, and a bruise that was shaped suspiciously like a flip flop was darkening across his cheek.

"Let's just get it over with," he muttered, reclaiming his tan hat and straightening it over his mussed hair. He brought his feet up against the edge of the broken floor, tightening his leg muscles, then was suddenly right in front of Ichigo, his outstretched palm held before Ichigo's face. Ichigo didn't have time to comprehend the shunpo, didn't have time to react, before there was a sudden, bright light. And then he fell into darkness, slipping away into the world of his mind.

#

Straightening, Shinji used his still outstretched hand to close Ichigo's eyes, hiding their blank, pupiless state.

"Are you sure it's best to just throw him into it, without explanation?" Lisa asked, her face grave. The rest had gathered around Shinji after he'd sent Ichigo into his inner world.

Shinji let a small smile slip across his face, although his eyes remained serious.

"He'll be in his element this way. According to Kisuke, it's how he's done everything else."

Love straightened the sleeves of his green jacket and hoisted Ichigo's unconscious form onto his shoulder, carefully, so as to avoid crushing his carefully shaped afro spikes.

"Hachi, give us a double-layered barrier," Shinji ordered, back in his authoritative mode of leadership. Hachi gave his usual overly polite response of "Hai-desu" and complied, bringing his hands together and surrounding the warehouse with a strong shield, seen only momentarily as a pale orange wall.

The group, led by Shinji, headed toward the basement training area, traveling down a set of dark stairs normally concealed beneath a trap door.

_Can ya hear me, Ichigo?_ Shinji projected, though he didn't know if he could even get through to the thickheaded shinigami. Perhaps he was just reassuring himself with the knowledge of what was to come, of what Ichigo was about to go through. Of what everyone in this group had been through, at one time or another.

_You're gonna fully transform into a hollow this time._ Memories, half-obscured in darkness and filled with fear, stirred beneath the surface of Shinji's mind, but he didn't let them distract him from his task.

_Don't get devoured. You devour him._ The hollow within his own mind, though bound back, stirred a little at this statement, as if remembering its own defeat. This only made Shinji's next thought stronger, the one thing he hoped Ichigo understood above all.

_If he gets ya, it's all over._

Once they reached the bottom of the stairs they entered the desolate rocky desert that served as their training room. Shinji watched with a serious expression as Love unceremoniously deposit Ichigo's form on the ground, then instructed Hachi to place an additional barrier down here, as well as a certain bakudou on Ichigo, knowing it would be needed. A precise chant and a few careful movements from Hachi, and the five iron pillars fell heavily to the ground, pinning down Ichigo's head and limbs, though none of them could be certain of how long the protection would hold. Shinji looked away, knowing it was all up to Ichigo now. All they could do was watch, and wait.

* * *

A/N: This chapter was really hard for me to write for some reason, so I apologize for any terrible writing/OOCness. The next one will have much more Ichigo/Hichigo. This was a necessary chapter to move things the story forward, but at least it's by far the longest chapter so far in this story (which technically isn't all that long, only about five pages in Word . . . oh well).


	8. Compromises

A/N: A reminder about this chapter: my entire goal in this was to write a "sweet" Hichiruki fic, mainly because my sister had complained about the almost complete lack of them. Therefore, any OOCness on Hichigo's part falls under that. If you don't think the hollow would act this way, call it AU and try to enjoy it anyway.

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Compromises**

Hichigo wasn't hugely surprised when, at feeling a sudden increase in reiatsu, he glanced up to see Ichigo, a blankly determined look on his face. He'd been expecting the King to return to take advantage of Hichigo's current state of weakness, but not quite this soon. His strength was still at the low level Ichigo had reduced it to in beating him, but Hichigo had known that there was little to be gained by fighting him again.

Despite who won, Ichigo would always take control again. It was that simple. It was his body, he had come first, and no matter how Hichigo fought to deny it the same truth kept coming up before his eyes: that there was more to being a king and a horse than just instinct. It was fate. No matter how the horse tries to overpower the king, nothing could come of it but death for them both.

He'd finally come to the realization that there was another way, more than just the blood that his darker nature called for. He didn't want to admit it, and his instincts and everything in him screamed against it, but perhaps talking with Ichigo was the only way to get what he wanted. Asking for a compromise, asserting his right to live and have control a part of the time. And hoping Ichigo was more rational than he appeared.

"Hey, King," he said simply, his sword lying on the ground at his feet. It was a gesture of submission, but Hichigo wasn't sure if Ichigo would understand it. He hoped that he wouldn't have to wave himself as a white flag for Ichigo to get this fact, but Ichigo seemed to realize the intention. At least, a look of surprise crossed his face, visible only for an instant.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Hichigo asked, adding his general sarcasm to a few choice words. This always seemed to work as well as anything to fill the empty space left by neither of them knowing what to say, and he was genuinely curious about why Ichigo was there, so soon after he'd reclaimed his place on the throne, leaving his white twin to function as a footrest. If he was there to attack, he surely would have done so while he still had the element of surprise. Though . . . maybe not. It was hard to tell with Ichigo.

"We . . . need to talk," Ichigo finally said, narrowing his gaze. Now it was Hichigo's turn to be surprised, and not only that they seemed to have had the same idea about how to proceed. Ichigo was the King; he'd won. What was there for the King to talk about with the loser? However, something else within Hichigo stirred almost hopefully. Were they really that like-minded about the situation? Hichigo held back this thought, if merely to save face, and kept his tone maddeningly innocent.

"Talk, King? About what?" he said, tipping his head to the side and giving Ichigo a wide grin, while his thoughts continued to race with possibilities and what ifs.

"Rukia."

#

He still hadn't moved. In the nearly ten minutes since Ichigo had begun what should have been his inner battle for control, Shinji had gone from solemn acceptance, to tenseness, to a near panic, and yet Ichigo hadn't changed, hadn't moved from the spot where Love had dumped him. Hachi was visibly fatigued from holding up the five iron pillars bakudou for so long, as well as the multiple barriers both down here and on the upper part of the warehouse. If this went on any longer, Hachi might have to drop the bakudou to keep up the strength to maintain the other barriers. Was that perhaps what Ichigo, or his inner hollow, was waiting for? Them to let down their guard?

Yet in none of their battles had that much strategy come into play. It had been a quick- -or not so, in a few of their cases- -and dirty fight, an all-out struggle for the right to live. There had been no planning, no scheming, merely a battle of wills and inner blades. Shinji couldn't believe that Ichigo, dense as he appeared, would break from this mold. He seemed to be very accomplished at that sort of fight, and yet nothing had happened. He should have been shifting toward becoming a hollow, a full hollow, not just a shinigami with a mask.

Shinji sighed and switched position as his over-tense muscles complained, the movement highly noticeable in the still, restless air of the training room. Just as if everything was going according to plan, all they could do was wait, and hope Ichigo would be the one to wake up in the end.

#

"What about her?" Hichigo asked, still playing dumb, even as he was sure that if he'd had a heart, it would be pounding with the prospects of what Ichigo could mean. Were they more closely connected than either of them liked to admit, for Ichigo to show up right at that moment, with the idea of talking, just as Hichigo had come to the conclusion that it was all that was left to do?

A trace of Ichigo's customary scowl stole across his features. However, it quickly cleared, as he was doing his best to keep his face blank, not giving Hichigo much to pull significance from. Though his next statement was fragmented enough to give Hichigo plenty of opportunity to gain the upper hand in the conversation. But a conversation of this magnitude . . . for the first time, he wasn't quite sure whether he wanted to be in control.

"What . . . do you want with her?" Ichigo finally managed, not meeting his inner hollow's eyes. Hichigo's wicked smile grew a little wider, though it was beginning to feel more like the mask he lacked, making him appear as a hollow, heartless and cold. Behind the mask . . . he wasn't sure he had an answer to this question, and fearful of this, he slipped back into his usual defense of snide comments.

"Come on, King, we both know about the birds and the bees-"

"Quit screwing around!" Ichigo suddenly called out, taking Hichigo aback for a moment. "She . . . she's too important for you to just mess around with! I won't let you!"

Ichigo's right arm twitched, and he looked dangerously close to drawing his sword, but got himself under control when he saw the hollow made no move toward its own version of Zangetsu. However, Hichigo's his smile had faded, to be replaced by a determined look that seemed to mirror Ichigo's.

"If I was just lookin' to fool around, wouldn't I have taken advantage of your weakness while I could?" Hichigo said, his tone serious. "I've had full control of your body twice now, and did I ever go _that_ far past a simple conversation?"

#

Ichigo's eyes widened; that hadn't occurred to him. The hollow's face was still serious, and something burned in his eyes, though it wasn't the usual passion for blood. Ichigo tried to stay suspicious, telling himself the hollow was just using this as a ploy for control, but when had the hollow been known to use delicacy to get what it wanted? He showed his likeness to Ichigo in that respect at least.

Hichigo stared across the gap as if waiting for Ichigo to respond, and Ichigo found he couldn't think of anything to say. He'd come here prepared to fight, not talk. Yet the hollow hadn't touched his sword the entire time, and Ichigo was almost certain that he wouldn't even if Ichigo came at him in full bankai. He had a different kind of drive about him now, and Ichigo wasn't sure what to expect. The mirror that he'd once been while fighting the hollow seemed to have shattered in that last battle, and now it was almost as if the hollow had become more than just a facet of Ichigo's sword, but a separate person, with his own thoughts and, quite obviously, desires.

#

Hichigo finally gave and broke the silence again, knowing he would have to pay for even one wrong word. If he was to get what he wanted control, control first, she comes after . . . right? he would have to do this carefully.

"So, I'll ask again. What about her?"

Ichigo didn't seem particularly excited to have the weight of the conversation shifted back to him, but he seemed to at least appreciate that Hichigo was being serious for once. He obviously realized as well just how important this conversation was.

"Stay away from her," Ichigo managed, his voice quiet again.

"Not gonna happen," Hichigo responded almost instantly.

"Why are you so set on her? What is it you're really after?" Ichigo nearly shouted, catching Hichigo off guard, though he didn't show it, keeping his face expressionless, except for the hint of a smile.

"Isn't that obvious?" Hichigo gave as an answer, though he found himself suddenly unsure of how to answer that question. He knew how he should answer, he knew the reason that drove him beneath it all, but even this foundation had felt shaky of late, every time he thought of the way she looked at the King.

Ichigo kept his face stony, glaring as a response, forcing Hichigo to give his real answer.

"Control."

"Not going to happen," Ichigo shot back, not needing to mimic the hollow's voice to make it clear he was pulling the same line.

"Then she's never going to be safe around you!" Hichigo spat out. "You can beat me down, but I'll always be here, and there's nothing you can do about that."

"So that's it? You've just been using her to make me give you what you want?"

"Yeah," Hichigo said, knowing that Rukia was just as much Ichigo's weakness as she was his. He just hoped Ichigo wouldn't realize it in time to turn the tables. While he was angry, he wasn't thinking. Hichigo could exploit that, and therefore was going to do all he could to keep Ichigo looking daggers at him, as long as those daggers didn't evolve to real swords. Despite his talking big, he was still weak as a declawed kitten.

"Screw you. I'm not going to play your games. And I'll never give you control," Ichigo said, turning, apparently planning to leave.

"Then I'm going to take control, just like I have before. And I once I get control, I won't leave you around to take it back again."

Ichigo spun back around, his sword drawn, and Hichigo just barely managed to control his urge to mirror him. He couldn't win with swords right now, and by not even trying he made a much better point than he would as a bloody mess on the ground. _Though I might just end up like that anyway_, Hichigo thought as Ichigo's eyes flashed blue, and he took a step of shunpo, his sword point lined up with Hichigo's chest.

But the hit never came. Ichigo's sword had stopped bare millimeters from Hichigo, though his determined gaze had gone farther in its intent to strike, only to be blocked by Hichigo's own.

"If you're going to take control, where's your sword?" Ichigo asked, his voice deathly calm.

"Right where it needs to be," Hichigo answered, unblinking, as if winning the staring contest would get him anything.

"I beat you, you beat me. S'long as we're both sharing this body, the cycle'll never stop, unless you concede and give me power part of the time. Come on, Ichigo. I know your dad taught you how to share!"

Stony eyes didn't smile at his attempt to lighten the mood, but they didn't narrow with readiness to strike either. This was Hichigo's last chance to get what he wanted through talking. Somewhere behind it all, he was sure he'd been trying to provoke Ichigo to draw his sword, just so Hichigo could prove exactly how serious he was about this compromise by remaining defenseless.

"You made me. I didn't ask to be in this situation. Now you have to deal with the problem that you created," Hichigo continued, this time keeping his tone serious, this point being the one he wanted to get across the most, the one that proved he deserved rights. He took a breath, then delivered his next statement in his strongest voice, keeping his eyes locked with Ichigo's.

"Give me control."

An unexpected silence fell. Hichigo was certain that Ichigo would either go through with the threat his naked blade presented, or at least verbally shoot him down instantly, just as he always did, without consideration. But Ichigo seemed to be thinking for once, though his expression didn't change in the slightest, and his eyes, if anything, grew colder.

"Stay away from her." Ichigo finally said, his voice deadly.

"Now, King we've been over this before-"

"No! That's my condition. If I give you control, you have to stay away from her."

The back of Hichigo's mind celebrated a victory, while the rest of him froze in shock. He'd never thought of this as a possibility, always thinking that she came along with gaining control, a package deal. He knew that his actions had led directly to this conclusion; his hindsight was a cliché 20/20. And there was no question that he had to take the deal: it gave him the one thing he'd been striving for all this time, his triumph. But by agreeing, was he giving up more freedom than he was gaining?

#

Now Ichigo was the one who was surprised, having expected Hichigo to answer immediately. After all, he'd just been using Rukia to get exactly this; it shouldn't matter too much to him that his toy was taken away, in comparison to his newly-won control. This was his triumph. Wasn't it?

#

Hichigo lowered his gaze, then met Ichigo's eyes again, trying to seem determined, despite his inner turmoil.

"It's a deal, King."

* * *

AN: My sister tells me I'm evil for this. I'll take that as a compliment.


	9. Suspicions

**Chapter Nine: Suspicions**

Shinji wondered if Ichigo and his inner hollow had managed to just kill each other off. It was the only explanation he could think of for the inaction of Ichigo's body, but that would mean that the body had become an empty shell, and Shinji could still sense two sets of non-warring reiatsu. So maybe not dead, both knocked unconscious? Could that happen to a person within their own mind without letting the other take control? If the hollow was knocked out as well . . . it was the only explanation that made sense, but Ichigo had lain still like this since he'd been thrown into his inner world nearly an hour ago. What could have knocked them both out in such a short period of time?

Then a sudden surge of reiatsu filled Shinji's senses, almost as if to answer his pondering, and all the visored grabbed for their swords, ready for this moment even after an hour of inactivity. The figure within Hachi's box rose, clutching his sword, and Shinji could clearly see black in his eyes. The hollow.

Shinji tossed a look over at Hachi, the only one able to keep the hollow from getting loose. Sweat shone on his face, and he was beginning to slump from holding the barriers at full strength and remaining on guard for so long. In the corner of his eye, Shinji could have sworn he saw the barrier that was holding the hollow waver.

_Kuso, this is bad_, Shinji thought, watching a wide smile spread across Ichigo's face. Shinji readied his reiatsu, then used shunpo to shoot himself toward the barrier and through the opening Hachi created for him. The hollow's smile spread, and though it showed no intention as of yet of going through a full hollowfication, Shinji predicted that it had all the time it wanted. Taking control and maintaining a human form . . . it was clear that the hollow had not only beaten Ichigo, but it was using him before killing him to increase its power.

It's intelligent, more than just a beast . . . this could be very bad for us.

The hollow regarded him lazily, its sword slung casually over one shoulder. Shinji, suspecting a trick, didn't take the bait and rush in. He wasn't going to underestimate this thing, knowing that he might have to put his full strength into this battle and couldn't afford to make stupid slip ups. Its reiatsu was steadily rising, and the hand gripping the sword flexed. . . .

Then, just as Shinji was preparing to pull out his mask, the hollow turned its attention away from him. It frowned, as if in annoyance, and directed its gaze upward. "Aww, c'mon. He's askin' for it."

It wasn't talking to Shinji or any of the rest of the visored, that much was clear, but it seemed to receive a response anyway, for it sighed and let its sword arm fall to its side.

"And I was hopin' we'd get to have some fun," it said, this time clearly speaking to Shinji with that wicked smile back in place. Then it closed its eyes, its face fell blank, and the reiatsu permeating the air shifted smoothly into a more familiar, far less sinister sort.

Ichigo opened his eyes and regarded Shinji with a level expression.

"Yo," he said, putting his sword on his back, out of the way.

Shinji couldn't help but stare. "You . . . you won? Then what was that just now?"

Ichigo raised his eyebrows. "Huh? Oh, it wanted me to prove my side of the bargain," he said nonchalantly.

"W-what? Bargain?"

"Yeah. We made a deal that it wouldn't take control unless I let it."

"Wha- do you mean, all this time, you just talked!" Shinji sputtered.

Ichigo kept the same casual manner despite Shinji's reaction, regarding him as one might a mildly interesting television show. "Well, yeah. We'd already fought it out before, and I won, so he accepted my conditions."

Shinji continued to stare. He'd never heard of someone making a deal with their inner hollow before. None of the visored's inner hollows had even been capable of basic reasoning, and certainly didn't have enough intelligence to hold a conversation like he'd witnessed the hollow having with Ichigo when it was briefly in control.

He had, of course, seen hollows with intelligence before-from the adjuchas and vasto lordes to the arrancar, and even some of the lesser hollows that invaded the real world-but everything he'd ever encountered that was created through the hollowfication process had been focused on one thing only: the instinct to kill and consume.

Could it be that his is different, an entirely new sort of hollow? Shinji wondered, briefly interested just for interest's sake before he discarded the notion. It was something Aizen would care about, or Urahara . . . Kisuke would be hearing about this, that was for certain.

Shinji regarded Ichigo with a serious look, and made sure his tone reflected the same. "I don't pretend to know what you and your hollow did while you were in there. But if you think a mere deal will be enough to keep it back, you'd better be right, because if it betrays you and takes control, we'll have to stop it, at any cost."

Ichigo nodded, clearly understanding the grave meaning behind Shinji's words. "It won't. I won't give it the chance," he replied in an equally serious tone. He then changed his manner to at least a mask of something closer to his usual one, saying, "Now then, I'd best be getting home. Curfew, and all that."

Shinji nodded at Hachi, who gratefully dropped the barrier from around them.

"A curfew? At your age?" Shinji asked, mirroring Ichigo in the pretense of his usual self while remaining on guard for any sudden movements, any shift in reiatsu. If the hollow truly was as intelligent as he thought, it wasn't an unrealistic idea that it might be pretending to be Ichigo, using Ichigo's body to cover itself up. Putting this entire show on for their benefit, then as soon as it was out of range. . . .

"Urusei," Ichigo muttered, scowling. Shinji smirked, keeping his focus on Ichigo while leading him to the stairs that would take them from the training area to the upper warehouse, casually letting Ichigo get ahead of him as he headed toward the outer door.

Just to test it, Shinji thought, carefully raising his sword, then bringing it down in a sudden, smooth strike at Ichigo's back.

Ichigo flipped around and blocked it with his own, his expression shocked. Shinji had locked his eyes with Ichigo's as soon as they'd become visible, and closely monitored his reiatsu during the attack. No black had appeared in them; nothing of the hollow had surfaced. He would have expected that, in a dire situation which required split second thinking like the one he'd put Ichigo into, the hollow would have slipped up and let something of itself show, if it was indeed the hollow in control.

"Wha-" Ichigo stuttered out, his eyes wide.

"Tripped," Shinji said casually, putting his sword away. Ichigo's expression grew serious, and Shinji knew he'd realized what his true goal had been.

"Right," Ichigo said, putting his sword away as well and heading out without another backward glance. Shinji watched him pensively, considering the possibilities he'd raised with his little experiment.

_Either that's actually Ichigo, or it's a hollow strong enough to give us a serious problem._

He turned to rejoin the rest of the visored in cleaning up the training room, hoping for all of their sakes that it was the former.

* * *

**Translation Notes:**

_Kuso_ - crap (or shit, if you're going to take it that way)

_Urusei_ - shut up; a rude form of "urusai" which means "you're annoying"


	10. Solitude

**Chapter Ten: Solitude**

As Ichigo walked home, he was taken with a more thoughtful gloomy mood than his usual scowl. With each step, he replayed what had just happened, what he'd just done, what he'd just agreed to. At least with this new deal, the hollow seemed to have backed off a bit; he felt for the first time in a while that his thoughts were actually private.

_Good, give me some time to actually consider what I've done, and the repercussions of it, without his- **its** commentary._

Not that he hadn't thought all this out before he'd agreed to the deal, but if the hollow actually intended to be true to its word, then letting it have control sometimes would be no worse than letting Kon- Kon! Gettaboshi's words from earlier suddenly popped into Ichigo's mind. _It may take a few days, so I'll get Rukia to put Kon in your real body so your family doesn't get suspicious._ It hadn't taken a few days; it had barely taken one evening, but that was still enough time for the little terror to cause a great deal of mayhem. . . .

But the words remained Ichigo's focus for a different reason: Urahara had specifically said that it might take a while, but Ichigo had blown right through it. Had he done something wrong? Was what he'd gone through supposed to take longer? Shinji and the other visored had seemed quite shocked when Ichigo had told them what he'd done while in the world of his mind, which made him think something different than normal had happened between them, but what he'd said at the time had been true; they had already fought it out before.

And although the hollow had taken him by surprise and briefly won the crown a few times, Ichigo had ultimately won. He was certain he was fundamentally stronger, and would be able to stay in, or reclaim, control whenever necessary. This confidence, along with the points the hollow had made- -things that had weighed on his mind before- -had been a great deal of what had impelled his final decision.

But in the end, what was most important, what finally convinced him, was that Rukia would be safe. Even if he'd been played toward this end by his inner darkness, giving the hollow exactly what it had wanted all along was a strong way to bind it to its promise, and to protect her, as well as leaving it feeling at least slightly indebted to him. He could have done much worse, but he hadn't, and he knew the hollow recognized that at least.

However, things were never easy when it came to the trustworthiness of a hollow. If she had only been its focus to give Ichigo a reason to broker a deal, then she should have nothing else to worry about now, but Ichigo wasn't going to let his guard down anyway, suspecting there was and had been something else going on. He remembered all too well what he'd experienced while the hollow had taken brief control, the feeling of longing. . . .

_*Yo, King?*_ the hollow said suddenly, surprising Ichigo away from the track his thoughts had been taking.

_Yeah?_ Ichigo thought back, not wanting to look like he was talking to himself.

_*I don't think that guy trusted you*_, it said, seeming to be trying for humor in its tone, but the statement came out more serious than he was used to, coming from the hollow. Maybe the fact that he had indeed held up his end of the bargain had actually won him some respect in its eyes.

_I think it's you he doesn't trust_, Ichigo replied. _It probably would have been better if you'd stayed civil while in control and not given him something he felt he needed to fear._

Ichigo glanced up at the sky, which was an annoyingly cheerful blue. Grey and stormy would have matched his thoughts better, and rain would have at least given him something other than his thoughts to concentrate on. The hollow's words rang far too true. Shinji's actions after Ichigo had gotten control back . . . that had been a test, Ichigo was sure of it. Was he making sure that it was actually Ichigo in control?

_*No*_, the hollow said, startling Ichigo until he realized that it was responding to his earlier statement, and not to his current though. *_I really think it's you he doesn't trust*_, it continued, then Ichigo felt it pull back into the recesses of his mind, leaving Ichigo alone with his thoughts again, though Ichigo suspected it wanted some time to itself as well; they both had a lot to think about.

_You know, that's what I'm afraid of_, Ichigo thought, responding purely to himself as he reached his house, giving his focus over to more pressing matters, like getting his body back from Kon.

#

Getting his body back from Kon didn't prove to be as problematic as Ichigo had thought it would be; a sneak attack through the window with his shinigami daikou badge, then chasing the little green pill across the floor. The real difficulty came upon trying to wrestle 'bostafu' back from Yuzu long enough to feed the stuffed lion the stupid little green pill. He was finally able to distract her by pretending he smelt smoke, and as she dashed off to check on dinner, he took care of putting Kon back in his usual body. He then dealt with Kon's protests by throwing him into Karin and Yuzu's room, where he bounced off the wall, and slamming the door. Then, before Yuzu could return from the kitchen, Ichigo stepped into his room and closed the door, wanting nothing more than to collapse on his bed, and be alone with his thoughts.

It occurred to Ichigo only as he heard her come through the front door that he should have sought Rukia out to tell her about his regained control over his hollow. He'd gotten so used to avoiding her for her own good that it hadn't even occurred to him; he'd been so focused on keeping her safe from himself that she'd only figured into his mind as a condition in the bargain. He sudden felt extremely guilty for this. He knew just how much pain and fear she'd gone through because of him, and she deserved better than to be forgotten about in his relief at finally having control over himself again.

She must have sensed his reiatsu, because he heard her coming up the stairs in a hurry. He met her at his door as she threw it open.

"Oh! Ichigo," she said, and he could tell she was struggling with a multitude of emotions, joy at seeing him, apprehension- -had it really worked?- -and relief, which seemed to win out over the rest upon seeing him whole and well.

"Did it work?" she asked in a breathless voice, seeming almost afraid of his answer.

He gave her a slight smile, not wanting to act too far out of the ordinary, especially now, and responded with a reassuringly monosyllabic "Yeah".

He then elaborated, for her sake, "He- It's under control now."

A smile broke across her face, and she suddenly threw her arms around him. Ichigo froze at this unusual response, feeling the hollow stirring at the back of his mind, but not to take control; it was merely observing. Rukia pulled back just as abruptly as she'd hugged him, blushing furiously.

"Well, that's good! Um, I think I need to go reassure you father that his 'third daughter' hasn't been kidnapped," she said, her words coming out in a rush.

Ichigo nodded, and she gratefully left the suddenly awkward situation, stepping back down the stairs a bit quicker than he would have expected for the excuse she'd given him. His suspicions were confirmed when he heard the front door close. He was fairly certain his father was in the kitchen, pestering Karin.

_If she needs time to herself, I won't begrudge her that_, Ichigo thought, feeling suddenly dejected for a reason he couldn't properly determine._ Does she still sense him- it, at the back of my mind?_

Ichigo hoped not, for although he was sure that certain parts of the deal would give her peace, he suspected that the part where he'd agreed to give it control sometimes would keep her up at night.

_I don't want to have to explain this right now- -that she was just being used by it to get a response out of me_, Ichigo thought, closing his door and flopping onto his bed, guilt knotting his stomach._ For now, let this be simple for her; I'm in control, and it can't hurt her anymore. It's the least I can give her for all she had to put up with for me._

He thought he could hear her talking quietly to herself out front. Wanting to give her the privacy she deserved, he sat up long enough to close his window, then fell back onto his side, consumed with thoughts of what to do now.

#

Rukia sat on the grass in front of the Kurosaki residence, her knees drawn up to her chin. Ichigo had done it, he'd gotten the hollow under control again. She wouldn't have to worry about it coming after her again. So why did she feel like something was missing?

It had been that hug, her first reaction to his good news. A month, no, a week ago, it wouldn't have been so; she probably would have punched him in the arm and scolded him in a gruff voice that he'd better have that hollow under control, and if he was worried about it giving him trouble again, he'd just have to get stronger so it wouldn't be able to. But now . . . everything between them had changed, and with Ichigo regaining control it was supposed to go back to being the same. Rukia was just having a hard time remembering, and accepting, that.

_This intimacy . . . no, it wasn't him. It wasn't Ichigo who kissed me. He doesn't feel that way for me._

"But. . . does his hollow?" she murmured, unable to get her mind around the thought, even when spoken aloud.

It was something she'd been avoiding thinking about, that Ichigo's hollow seemed to be interested in her. But if the last time it had kissed her was any indication, it was for more than just her body, for more than just to scare her. She'd been completely at its mercy, unable to fight back, and it had stopped itself, and spoken to her in that voice completely unlike the unnatural echoes she'd heard from it before. It had sounded almost caring, and then it had chosen to give control back to Ichigo. Had that all been a pretty lie, designed to pull her in and make her feel exactly like this, to think these exact thoughts? Had the game gotten boring quicker than it had expected, without her fighting back, so it had decided to switch things up?

Maybe it was simpler than all that. Maybe Ichigo had been fighting for her within his own mind, and had been winning, about to regain control, so the hollow had merely acted as if it was giving control back of its own volition just before it lost it. But that didn't mesh with how Ichigo had acted upon winning his body back. He'd been shamed, head down, asking for help. Was that just because of what the hollow had been doing to her with his body?

_"I'll stop. I can see you don't like this. But . . . I just wanted to touch you. Just wanted you to notice me."_

That had been the hollow speaking. She was sure of it. And she'd never known a lesser hollow to act like that, even in pretense. She didn't think hollows of that level were capable of anything more than the instinct to consume. But Ichigo's . . . it had been different from the start.

There was a perfectly logical explanation, she realized. It was common knowledge that the higher menos, the adjuchas and vasto lordes, were in possession of high reasoning skills, of intelligence and cunning. The fact that Ichigo's was similar wasn't a reason to trust it; it was something to fear.

No matter how he had seemed to act, no matter how he had made her feel, it was a hollow. It wasn't capable of such things as caring or love. Her thoughts to the contrary were mere fantasies, and not the way to pay Ichigo back for all he'd done for her. She discounted his efforts by imagining such things, and if there was a something she never wanted to do, it was to have Ichigo sacrifice in her name for nothing.

She resolved to put its words from her mind, and focus instead on getting her relationship with Ichigo back to the way it had been before this had happened, as if the hollow didn't exist. Feeling the same strange ache from this thought, Rukia came to her feet, to now go do what she'd told Ichigo she was going to, hopefully before Isshin called the police with a missing person's report.


	11. A Second Chance

**Chapter Eleven: A Second Chance**

Hichigo sat in the sideways world, doing everything he could think of to distract himself apart from twiddling his thumbs, until he couldn't take the silence anymore. He'd decided to spend the next few days getting back to full strength, and in doing so, he'd resolved to leave the King alone for a while. This was in the hope that the King would be less likely to think better of the deal and go back on it if he wasn't glaringly reminded of what he'd promised. But Hichigo wasn't the type to be content doing nothing- -part of the reason he'd tried to take control in the first place- -so it irked him to see Ichigo keeping control, and using it to do absolutely nothing but lie on his bed, consumed in thought. He was free to do that while Hichigo was in control.

Hichigo finally stood and poked himself into the King's thoughts, all of which were brooding on Rukia and the deal he'd just made, and tossed out, *_Hey, King! If you're just going to sit around, why'd you want to be in control so bad?*_

_It's my body, my turn; I can do whatever I damn well please!_

Hichigo started out of Ichigo's thoughts and back into his own with raised eyebrows. The angry snap of an answer he hadn't expected; Ichigo was much more of the brooding sort when he got like this, more likely to viciously ignore anything asked of him. This must really be bothering him. Still, Hichigo had never been one to skirt cautiously around Ichigo's annoyance. He slipped back into Ichigo's thoughts, and asked, *_So, are we going to have some sort of a a schedule for this? Wednesdays and weekends? Every third Saturday?*_

Hichigo then found himself tossed physically backward into the sideways world as Ichigo put up a mental block. He lay on his back for a few seconds, marvelling at Ichigo's sudden mental control, then grudgingly pushed himself up, deciding that if the King was that intent on his privacy, Hichigo would just have to find a way to amuse himself for the rest of the day in a way that didn't involve bothering the King.

Unfortunately, once stripped of this distraction, he rapidly slipped into his own musing about Rukia and their current situation. He'd got what he'd wanted, everything he'd ever wanted, but she was the price for it. His victory tasted bitter, and he hated Ichigo for making it that way.

But regret was useless; the deal was made, and all that was left was to find a way to live with it. A sudden smile broke across Hichigo's face. This was merely a chance for him to flex his creative muscles a bit, to find loopholes in the agreement they'd made. To find a way to her. If nothing else, he certainly had no shortage of cunning and drive; add those two elements together, and he just might have a plan.

Stay away from her. Those were the King's exact words, his sticking point; the basis of this deal. They hadn't yet laid down any specifics of the deal beyond that foundation. That was Hichigo's advantage. However, he didn't expect it to stay that way for long, especially with Ichigo deep in thought right now- -he was sure to soon chance upon the same realization Hichigo had just found. If Hichigo was going to act, to make a try for her, it would have to be soon, while he still had the ambiguousness of the undecided details to protect his actions.

Stay away from her. Sure. There were plenty of ways to communicate with a person without getting anywhere near them. Letters, signs, signals . . . the only problem that Hichigo saw with writing something was that Ichigo would be able to see what he was doing even if Hichigo was in control, and could take that control back if he recognized what the hollow was up to. That would be sure to result in the rules of this deal getting changed in a way that would restrict Hichigo's contact with Rukia even farther.

Hichigo then took a moment to consider whether it was worth it to even try. Was she worth it to him? The strike of pain through his chest, the hole where his heart should have been, let him know the answer right away. Yes. That question wasn't even worth asking. She was worth all the trouble in the world to him, the one thing he'd ever cared about besides blood and fighting. The first thing he'd ever had beyond his instincts to fight for.

Whatever he did, it would have to be sneaky; his first idea of a simple letter might be too obvious. Then again, if Hichigo started skulking around and making elaborate plans, Ichigo was sure to notice. A letter might be the perfect answer, simply because it was blatant. But what could he say? What could he tell her that would make her see him as anything more than a monster? The cliche phrases that slipped through his mind, artifacts of sappy movies Ichigo had watched with Karin and Yuzu in the past, made Hichigo want to gag, but it was a start at least. He started composing a letter of them, putting them together, then stopped when he realized he was starting to rhyme. There was no way he was writing her a poem!

By the time Ichigo went down for dinner, Hichigo still hadn't made any headway on what he wanted to tell Rukia. It was all starting to sound cliche and stupid to him, but he wouldn't let himself take a break. He had no idea how long he would have to go about this plan, or whether even with all this effort he'd be able to actually do anything for her. Ichigo would notice eventually that Hichigo was unusually deep in thought, and not bothering him. But for now Hichigo was happier letting Ichigo forget about him, so he didn't want to remind him of his presence by ribbing him like he usually did.

Rukia was back to being herself during dinner- -at least, she looked to be the very few times Ichigo glanced up at her. Much to Hichigo's annoyance, Ichigo seemed to be avoiding her gaze. He still felt guilty about everything that had happened. It was probably for the best though- -the less Ichigo looked at her, the less chance there was of Hichigo slipping up and letting Ichigo sense how he really felt for her.

After dinner Ichigo went straight up to bed, and though he waited at least a half hour for Rukia to come up, he finally just shut off his light and climbed under the covers. Hichigo's suspicions about her whereabouts were confirmed when he heard Yuzu talking animatedly to Rukia as they both went toward the twins' room- -she wouldn't be sleeping in Ichigo's closet again, or at least, not tonight.

It took a few more hours of lying in the darkness for Ichigo to fall asleep, but when he finally did, it was deep and dreamless. Hichigo wasn't surprised- -with all he'd been through that day, the King was mentally and physically exhausted. What did surprise him was that as Ichigo slipped out of consciousness, Hichigo suddenly found himself in control of their body.

_He must have been keeping the block up just in case all this time, and now he's too tired to do it unconsciously_, Hichigo thought, grinning at his unexpected luck. Then the smile faded as he realized this was just the chance to do something to contact Rukia, but he still hadn't thought of what to write.

Hoping the movement wouldn't knock Ichigo awake, Hichigo carefully slid out from under the sheets and stood, looking around the room with eyes long used to the darkness by now. There was a notebook in Ichigo's backpack, and pens in a tin on the desk. Hichigo gathered these and sat on the bed, the better to see by the moonlight streaming through the open curtains.

He decided to start the letter with her name, and as he did he suddenly knew exactly what to write. It was what he'd known all along, what had come as an unexpectedly welcome surprise to him- -true emotion that he hoped would shine through to her. He wrote messily, his handwriting somewhat like Ichigo's but a little sharper, a bit more uncertain, until he reached the bottom of the page. And then he stopped, suddenly unsure of how to sign the letter. He didn't have a name. He'd been calling himself Hichigo, a contraction of hollow and Ichigo, but what was he really? Who was he?

He realized this wasn't the time for existential arguments, and finally just wrote an H in romaji, hoping she would know who had written it by its content. Then he folded it in half and placed it in the closet, under her pillow, and went back to bed. He lay awake all night, so lost in other thoughts that he barely remembered he had been in control until Ichigo woke for school, upon which time Hichigo slipped away into the sideways world and watched Ichigo's thoughts for any suspicion. But there was no worry in his mind at the moment, and Hichigo found himself wishing that he too could sleep, if only to forget for a while.


	12. Discoveries

**Chapter 12: Discoveries**

It had been four days since the deal was made, and though Hichigo itched to be in control, he'd decided not to bother the King about it. As he'd proven when questioned last, Ichigo was more likely to snap back and refuse if directly confronted, even about a deal that he himself had suggested. It wasn't in Hichi's nature to wait, but he was comforted by the fact that he'd achieved his goal of contacting Rukia- -not that she'd slept in the closet again since he'd placed the letter under her pillow. Considering it was unlikely she'd feel secure enough to sleep in there any time soon, he was beginning to wonder if he should have instead slipped the note in her backpack, or under her door. But both of those scenarios ran the risk of Yuzu or Karin finding the note, a situation that was too awkward for Hichigo to even ponder.

With the weekend over, Ichigo went back to school, leaving Hichi to sit in the back of his mind trying not to learn as Ochi-sensei elaborated on math and Japanese history. Judging by Ichigo's 'enthusiasm' about the subjects, Hichigo was almost worried the King would offer school hours as the times the hollow could be in control, but he hadn't brought it up, doubtless afraid of math problems like 100 hollows plus 100 hollows equals one Menos. Still, it might have been preferable to this silence: with Ichigo not even acknowledging his presence, Hichigo was beginning to feel more like he had before he'd gained enough power to bring himself to the attention of the King- -namely, frustrated.

When Sunday came around again without Ichigo so much as scolding the hollow, Hichigo decided to step forward. After all, the risk of jeopardizing the deal by doing so no longer mattered, since they didn't _have_ a deal if he never got the chance to be in control.

*_Yo, King_*, he said, playing it safe to start.

_Yeah?_

*_I've been thinking, now that you're done with your homework. . . ._*

_You want control?_

*_Yeah_*, Hichigo said, somewhat surprised the King had been the one to suggest it. Ichigo was silent for a long moment, in which Hichi started preparing a list of points he could bring up in his favor if the King refused. Then, to his complete shock, the King smiled.

_Couldn't have asked _before _I finished my math homework? Sure, I guess you're overdue for a turn._

And before Hichigo could even register surprise about what the King had just said, he found he could blink the eyes of Ichigo's body, move his arms, touch the paper that lay on the desk. He picked up the pencil Ichigo had left lying on top of his homework and spun it in his fingers, marveling at how good it felt to be able to do even something so simple. He put it in the tin at the top of the desk, then pushed his chair back, utterly clueless of what to do now that he was in control. It was a Sunday afternoon- -what _was_ there to do?

He opened the bedroom door, and almost ran into Yuzu, who was skipping toward the stairs.

"O-nii-chan! Are you done with your homework?"

"Uh, yeah," he said, finding it hard to keep up Ichigo's trademark scowl. He wouldn't have bothered, if it wasn't for Ichigo's family- -it wasn't as if _he_ had a reason to scowl; he finally had what he wanted! But it wouldn't do good for Ichigo's family to suspect anything was strange about him.

"Want to watch cartoons with me?" she asked, looking excited to have her big brother all to herself, with Karin and Rukia off playing soccer, and Isshin at the clinic.

"Sure," Hichigo said, glad to have something to do, even if he would have preferred the chance to slaughter a few lesser hollows over watching Sunday afternoon TV. He could feel Ichigo observing him closely, which worried Hichigo a bit; Rukia could take care of herself, but maybe the King would have second thoughts about this deal once Hichigo started interacting with his little sisters? He seemed to have a lot more trust than Hichigo had expected though, because he didn't take control back, or even comment. Just observed very closely.

_Yeah, I get it; this is a test run_, Hichigo thought to himself as he accompanied Yuzu down the stairs. She was chattering happily about her favorite cartoon, which seemed to involve talking vegetables and displayed recipes at the end. Hichigo was glad that it wasn't out of the ordinary for Ichigo to remain stoically silent, since he didn't have the slightest idea what to add to this conversation. When they reached the front room, Ichigo sat on the couch next to Yuzu- -well, on the other end; he wasn't going to try Ichigo's patience with the situation.

Halfway through the program- -which was strange enough that Hichi could see why Yuzu liked it- -Hichigo experienced a moment of terror as Yuzu curled up against his chest. He didn't know what to do, so he did what came naturally to the body, which was to put his arm around her shoulder in a brotherly-manner. She smiled up at him, and he found himself feeling oddly happy. He never would have expected to feel this way, but it was actually nice to forget about fighting and killing and instinct and just pretend he was a normal high school student with a normal loving family- -_scratch that; Isshin is **anything** but normal_, Hichigo thought. Still, when it was just him and Yuzu watching brightly animated vegetables dance around a pot of boiling water, he could almost pretend that he wasn't the imposter in this body.

The awkward moment didn't last long, to Hichigo's semi-relief, as Yuzu soon hopped up from the sofa and pointed at the screen. A smiling young woman bowed to the TV audience then began to prepare a simple dinner using the ingredients that had featured in the show. Hichigo found the concept a bit morbid- -which was saying something, coming from him- -but Yuzu seemed to enjoy it. Soon the show was over, and Yuzu switched the TV off as it changed to a news programme.

"O-nii-chan, let's make that for dinner!" she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him off the sofa. He allowed himself to be led into the kitchen where he was assigned to chop up some carrots. A few seconds later, Yuzu took over and instructed him to start boiling a pot of water, as he was apparently chopping them 'wrong'. Glad enough to put the knife down- -he'd noticed Ichigo's attention intensify as soon as he picked it up- -he took out a large saucepan and filled it at the sink, setting it on the stove. Yuzu rescued him from staring at the various knobs by turning the proper one to the setting she wanted, shaking her head and lightly scolding him for not cooking often enough to even know how the stove worked. Hichigo was once again grateful for Ichigo's mock stupidity- -it let a lot of things slide that may have otherwise raised red flags.

Yuzu changed her mind about dinner shortly after, instructing Ichigo to go through the simple steps of the recipe from the children's show while she got her fingers messy making rice-dough for dango. As they boiled in the pot Ichigo had filled with water, she prepared the sauce, a savory sweet glaze that required almost constant stirring, and was apparently too complicated to trust Ichigo with. It gave him the chance to merely stand by and be company, which she seemed grateful for as she chattered to him about school.

Karin came home as Yuzu was grilling the dango, grass stains on her knees and football under one arm. Yuzu cheerfully enquired if she'd won.

"Yeah, but they were just high-schoolers, so it wasn't that hard," she said. She seemed like she'd had a good day nonetheless- -her cheeks were glowing, though her face took on an odd expression as she looked at Hichigo. It was almost like she knew something about him was strange. He narrowed his eyes slightly to reclaim Ichigo's scowl- -which had slipped as he'd been enjoying his time- -reassuring himself that it was probably nothing; maybe it was just odd that he was helping with dinner. He decided to address the matter directly.

"Good; now you can help with dinner," he said. Yuzu started to protest, but Karin cut her off with a scoff.

"I'm taking a shower," she said, heading for the stairs. "Tell me when it's ready," she called as she reached the upstairs hall.

Hichigo didn't have much time to dwell on her odd look, because Rukia came through the door almost as soon as Karin was upstairs. She smiled at him, and he found himself looking away almost instantly as Ichigo's attention intensified.

_If I act weird, she'll suspect something's up, and you'll get to have the talk about our deal_, Hichi said to Ichigo. The King didn't respond, but Hichigo felt he'd gotten the message. He turned back to Rukia, who looked slightly surprised, and nodded slightly. She relaxed visibly, then complicated matters by coming into the kitchen to help Yuzu with the dango. Hichigo tried to excuse himself and escape to Ichigo's room, but got pressed into making the rice as Rukia finished the rest of the dish from the children's show.

"Do we really need this much food?" Hichigo asked as he measured out the rice into the cooker.

"The dango are dessert," Yuzu said. "Besides, O-tou-san's been at work all day- -I want him to come home to a big meal!"

Hichigo supposed that made sense. He was wondering if Isshin normally worked on Sundays, or if there'd maybe been a special circumstance today, when Rukia came up behind him.

"Everything okay?" she asked in an undertone, her voice masked by the clattering of dishes as Yuzu prepared to set the table.

"Yeah," he said, then decided that rules or not, monosyllabic grunts weren't going to get her to stop worrying. He turned toward her, brightening slightly, trying to do that thing Ichigo did that wasn't quite smiling to reassure her. "I even finished all those math problems. Well, most of them."

She smiled; Hichigo was glad to see his attempt to be Ichigo had worked. Then her brow furrowed, and his heart pounded- -what was he doing wrong that everyone but Yuzu seemed to notice?

"I forgot about the assignment," she said, and Hichigo held back a sigh of relief. Oh. She hadn't been thinking about him at all.

"Well, it shouldn't be too hard for you; bet you could get it done before dinner. I'll help Yuzu set the table."

Rukia nodded, turning and heading toward the stairs. Hichigo relaxed as she disappeared from sight. It was hard enough to try and stick by the rules of their deal; it didn't help that he also had to try and hide his feelings for her from the King. He took a stack of bowls from Yuzu and placed them at the five spots on the table, mentally claiming the place that would keep him from sitting next to Rukia.

#

Rukia glared down at the math worksheet. She'd thought she was finished with things like this after she'd graduated from the Shinigami Academy. Worse, she couldn't find her favorite pen. It didn't feel right to do math problems without smiling bunnies on her pen.

She'd checked her entire backpack, and the floor and under the bed of Yuzu and Karin's room, but she couldn't find it. She hoped she hadn't left it at school. Then it occurred to her that the last time she remembered using it was when she still been sleeping in Ichigo's closet. She stepped out of the room she shared with the twins and down the hall, pulling open Ichigo's door. She closed it behind her, just in case Yuzu came up to get her for dinner and found her in there, though she supposed she had a perfectly valid reason to be there.

Rukia first checked the tin of pens and pencils on Ichigo's desk, just in case he'd found it and put it there. She noticed his math homework on the desk as she did, and smiled to herself as she noticed a few errors. She corrected them in pencil, drew a bunny at the top, then got back to her search by opening the closet door.

The air inside was a little stale, which made her feel oddly homesick. She definitely missed sleeping in here. Now that Ichigo's hollow problem was under control, maybe she could find an excuse to stay in here again . . . Rukia's brow furrowed. She'd lifted her pillow, and spotted the pen, but beside it was a folded piece of notebook paper. She picked both up, unfolding the note and reading it.

She realized how long she'd been standing there in shocked silence only as Yuzu rapped on the bathroom door across the hall and told Karin that dinner was ready. Startled by the noise, Rukia dropped the letter, and found herself bending almost immediately to snatch it before it hit the ground, her heart pounding, the last sentence repeating itself in her head.

"Rukia-chan?" Yuzu asked from down the hall, near the twins room. Rukia got her emotions under control and flipped the light off, stepping out into the hall.

"Ichigo borrowed my pen- -I was getting it back," Rukia said to a surprised Yuzu as she stepped out of Ichigo's room. Rukia held the note tightly in her hand, behind her back, as she followed Yuzu down the stairs.

Isshin was home now- -he sat at the table, praising Yuzu's plate arrangement skills- -but even his booming voice couldn't distract Rukia from meeting Ichigo's eyes. He seemed surprised by the intensity of her gaze, and somehow, she knew that it was the hollow who was looking back at her. Something deeper clicked inside her as he looked away, and she knew that what the note had said was true. Despite all of Soul Society's experience and evidence to the contrary, Ichigo's hollow was something different. It had more complex feelings than bloodlust. And it was in love with her.

* * *

A/N: I'm making this more of a priority again. Sorry it hasn't been as much in the past.

**Translation Notes:**

sensei: teacher

O-nii-chan: big brother (with a cute honorific)

dango: rice dumplings (Yuzu is making Mitarashi dango, which are **amazing**!)

O-tou-san: father


	13. Apprehension

**Chapter 13: Apprehension**

_Rukia._

_I don't think I'll have another chance to contact you. Ichigo doesn't know I'm writing this, and this is the last time I'm taking control without his permission._

_He wants to be the one to tell you the specifics, but basically, we made a deal. He'll let me have control sometimes, but only if I stay away from you. If that's what you want, you don't have to worry about me. I won't bother you again._

_But if that's not what you want- -if there's even a chance you want to hear me out- -please tell him so. He's the one with the power. He's the one who can say yes, or no._

_But all of that means nothing if I can't bring myself to tell you this, so here's all you really need to know:_

_You're the only thing that really matters to me. All the fighting for control, for power, it's all for you. I don't know why, or how it's possible, but this is the truth: I love you, Rukia._

_H_

#

Hichigo gave control back during dinner. He didn't think Ichigo had noticed the long lingering stare, or the paper in Rukia's hand, but it had made Hichigo's heart pound with apprehension, and he'd had to relinquish control before Ichigo noticed something was up.

*_King, that was fun_*, he said, acting calm, *_But I'm a little tired of playing you. Maybe next time I can kill some hollows or something?_*

Ichigo didn't have an answer for that, but he was quick to accept control when offered. Hichigo knew the King didn't like sitting in that sideways world watching any more than he did, so he found that he _was _impressed the King had let him keep control for so long. Maybe Ichigo actually was determined to make this work, if only for Rukia's sake. Rukia. . . .

Now that the King was back in control, he was carefully avoiding looking at Rukia again, though as the dinner went on, he seemed to relax more, until he was back to acting like himself again. Hichigo was almost sorry to have given the body back as Yuzu brought out the dango, but he could eat Yuzu's home cooking some other time. Rukia was the focus right now, and if that was his letter in her hand, he wanted to know her answer.

Unfortunately her answer, more likely than not, would be no, which would probably mean she'd do her best to forget she'd received a note from Ichigo's hollow. But at least she hadn't thrown it away; maybe there _was_ hope? He was sure the negative evidence was going to drive him mad, but at least he now knew she'd read it. She knew how he felt. Whether she believed him or not, he'd told her that he . . . loved her.

_If you can't even make yourself believe it, how d'you expect her to?_ he thought to himself, a tired smile on his face that slipped away as his next thought came about. _I don't. Not really. But at least she knows. Now I just hope it doesn't make her lose sleep at night._

#

As soon as Yuzu and Karin were asleep, Rukia slipped out of the room. She glanced down the hall as she closed the door behind her. The crack at the bottom of Ichigo's door was dark- -the light was off. Whether he was actually sleeping or not was another matter, but as long as he didn't notice her shift in reiatsu, she should be fine.

Rukia took out her Soul Candy and popped Chappy into her pyjama-wearing gigai. Before the cheerful mod soul could make so much as a peep, Rukia clapped her hand over her mouth.

"I need you to go to sleep in the twins' room," she said, meeting Chappy's eyes over her hand. "If you stay quiet until I get back, I'll buy you a new set of markers on the way home from school."

Chappy's eyes brightened. Rukia removed her hand, and Chappy gave a very quiet "Pyon!" before slipping back into the twins' room. Rukia turned back down the hall and considered her avenues of escape. She didn't want to just go out the front door- -she was much more likely to be noticed and cause a fuss. Finally, she decided on the bathroom window, glad she wasn't proportioned like Inoue as she squeezed through the narrow space. As she slipped her foot through, she accidentally knocked over a shampoo bottle, which fell and clattered on the shower floor with a noise that seemed deafening to her ears.

She slammed the window shut and dropped to the ground before anyone could react to the noise. A few quick shunpo took her nearly halfway across the town to her destination: Urahara Shoten. She stepped up to the front door, considering what to do. Should she knock? She'd never been here this late before; what if everyone was asleep? But before she could decide on a course of action, the door slid open to reveal Urahara.

"Kuchiki-san! Always a pleasure. Though I doubt you're here at this late hour to check out my sales."

His voice was his usual cheerful drawl, but the eyes in the shadow of his trademark hat were level, knowing. Rukia tightened her grip on the paper she held in her left hand.

"Not exactly, no," she said. "Can we talk?"

"Of course," he said, giving her a long look before turning and leading her into the shop.

#

The next morning, Ichigo actually woke when his alarm first chimed. He checked the hour, and was surprised- -not even Yuzu would likely be up this early. He yawned and stumbled across the hall to the bathroom, frowning as he stepped through the door. Someone had knocked his shampoo over- -the cap had come off, leaving a blue ooze on the tile. He replaced the cap and rinsed the bottle, setting it up near the window again . . . the window that was usually left slightly open during the summer, but was instead closed. Ichigo slid it open part of the way, then pondered his shampoo bottle. Had someone climbed out the window last night? It wasn't something he would have even considered before Rukia had started staying with them, but with her around, it was more than likely.

He remembering feeling Rukia's reiatsu in the hall, just as he was drifting off to sleep. Had there been a hollow? He could definitely picture her just taking care of it herself, instead of bothering him, especially with all he'd been going through lately with his hollow. Speaking of . . . Ichigo turned his attention to his inner world and noted that the hollow was patiently minding its own business, as it had been the entire last week. Ichigo wasn't sure he trusted it. Sure, it had been rather surprisingly friendly last night while making dinner with Yuzu, but what if it was just biding its time, gathering its strength to strike at him again? He didn't want to let his guard down, even for an instant, not with Rukia and his family at stake.

Finished in the bathroom, Ichigo stepped out into the hall and nearly collided with Rukia. At least, he thought it was Rukia, but the girl in the pyjamas playfully bopped him on the head before hopping down the stairs. He heard the front door open, and dashed down the stairs to find a far more exhausted-looking Rukia standing on the front porch, slipping something into her pyjama pocket. She looked surprised to see him, but quickly masked the emotion behind a scowl.

"What are you doing up so early?" she asked.

"Was there a hollow?" he asked.

Rukia raised an eyebrow, but then controlled her expression again.

"It was nothing much."

"You should have woken me- -I could have helped."

"_Tawake_," she said, slipping past him and up the stairs. "I was killing hollow before you were born; I think I can handle them on my own."

Ichigo frowned after her as she stepped out of sight. She was doing her best to act natural, but he could tell that something was weighing on her mind. He punched the wall next to him. This hollow thing was getting out of hand, if she was still having trouble trusting him a week later. Not that he could blame her- -the experience had been traumatizing enough for him, and he couldn't even imagine what she might be feeling.

He scowled at the floor. What if, after all of that, after his assuring her that things would be okay, she found out that rather than overcoming his hollow he was letting it host play dates in his body? It had seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but now it made him feel weak. The visored had managed their inner hollow by beating them down- -Shinji had been extremely surprised at the way Ichigo had handled his. Of course he had- -what kind of shinigami made a _deal_ with a hollow? It wasn't as if they were allies.

With the current focus of his thoughts, he wasn't surprised to feel the hollow stirring. And yet, it didn't comment, or try to take control. And that was what gave Ichigo pause, what stopped him from just beating it into submission, like the visored had done with their own inner hollows. If it had only agreed to the deal to have time to recover and be able to face him at full strength again, it had had plenty of time for that by now. So unless it had an incredibly crafty plan that involved pretending to cooperate, it seemed to have meant what it had said about occasional control being all that it had wanted.

*_King, you having second thoughts about this deal?*_ The hollow suddenly spoke up, surprising Ichigo.

_Yeah, I am_, Ichigo said, steeling himself for the hollow's reaction. But it just sat there, looking slightly mournful. Ichigo furrowed his brow. None of this made sense anymore.

*_But_*, the hollow started, and Ichigo waited for it to protest, to get out its sword, to taunt and threaten, *_didn't I do all right yesterday? I stayed away from her, like you told me to._*

Damn it. Ichigo didn't know how to act around this strangely reformed hollow. It was perfectly right. He knew he was being the bully here, that he was somehow in the wrong. But it was a hollow, and this was Ichigo's body to make the demands in.

_Yeah, you did. And if you were a human, or a shinigami, I wouldn't have a problem with this deal. But the fact is, you're a hollow. We're natural enemies. I'm not supposed to be going around making peace._

Ichigo could feel the hollow's anger. _Yes, rise up, fight me!_ he thought purely to himself. _Give in to your instincts. Act like something I know how to deal with._

*_If that's how you feel, I guess there's not much I can do about it_*, the hollow said, sounding resentful, but calm. Ichigo compensated by nearly losing his temper completely.

_What is with you? ! Where's your pride? I back out on our deal, and you have nothing to say but oh well? !_

The hollow gave him a level stare that made Ichigo feel like a child. *_I've already lost the one thing that was worth fighting for_.* And before Ichigo could come up with a response, the hollow withdrew deeper into his inner world, away from a place where they could easily converse.

Ichigo could have forced it out by entering the inner world himself, but what good would that do? Maybe that was its plan all along, but that didn't make sense. . . Ichigo clutched his head in his hand, feeling his temples pound with the start of a headache. He didn't have time for this. He had to get ready for school.

As Ichigo tried his best to pay attention in class, he couldn't help focusing on the hollow's words. What had it meant, that it had already lost the only thing that was worth fighting for? He was afraid he knew, far too well, but it had said tormenting Rukia had just been a means to the end of getting control. But even now that Ichigo had broken that deal, the hollow wasn't rising up as it had in the past. Had it really given up, when the deal had forbade contacting Rukia? Ichigo found he couldn't believe it.

He glanced over at Rukia, and the hollow didn't even stir. Had it withdrawn entirely? She looked weary, like she'd been up all night. He wasn't sure he believed her story about a hollow either. He glared down at his textbook. Why couldn't everything go back to the way it had once been, where he'd known where he stood with those around him?

A few minutes later, Ichigo was at least reassured he still knew his place with regards to Ochi-sensei. She'd apparently called on him while he'd been lost in thought, and since he hadn't answered, she'd spent the next few minutes instructing the class on how to say "Ichigo is a slacker who doesn't pay attention in class" in English. As he left class, Keigo followed him out, repeating the sentiment in what Ichigo was certain was a terrible accent- -Ichigo was again reassured when Keigo was unable to dodge the elbow Ichigo sent his way. Maybe everything wasn't different. Or maybe he was the one who had changed.

Ichigo found Rukia sitting on the edge of his bed when he got home; rather than waiting for Ochi-sensei to finish berating him after class, she'd gone home on her own.

"Rukia. What's up?" he asked, trying to act normal in response to the serious expression on her face.

"Ichigo," she said, her gaze direct despite her tired eyes. "Can I talk to your hollow?"

"What?" he said, taken aback. "Why?"

She shook her head, avoiding the question. "Can I please just talk to it?"

Ichigo's stomach churned. He didn't know what to do, what to say, but if that was what she really wanted. . . .

"But I beat it back, so you could be safe! If I put it in control, I don't know what it might do."

Rukia raised a hand. "Bakudou no ichi- -sai!" Ichigo's arms were pinned behind his back by the familiar binding spell- -the same she'd used upon their first meeting.

"I can take care of myself," she said, but her tone wasn't derisive. It was like she was trying to reassure him of something he should have already known. Which, he supposed, was just the case- -he'd gotten so used to protecting her, after she'd transferred her power to him, that he sometimes forgot she was a shinigami in her own right.

"All right," he said, leaving the 'but be careful!' that he wanted to add unspoken- -he knew she would be.

He slipped back into his mind, and the hollow, which had been watching this conversation intently, surged into control. Ichigo almost stopped it, but once in control it did nothing but stand there, watching Rukia with black and yellow eyes.

"Hollow," she said, sounding unsure. She paused. "What should I call you?"

The hollow shrugged the best it could with its arms pinned behind its back. "I don't have a name."

"Surely there's something you call yourself?"

"Not really."

Rukia gave it a look that was almost pitying. Ichigo felt the hollow react to the look with a tinge of anger, and gritted his teeth against taking control again- -he had to let this be Rukia's decision.

"I guess . . . Hichigo? it said hesitantly. "Out of, like you said, necessity- -something to call myself."

"Hichigo," she said, regarding the hollow with a long stare. Ichigo was surprised to feel something akin to hope rise up in the hollow.

She took out a folded piece of paper, and Ichigo saw the hollow's eyes fix on it intently.

"I have one question for you," she said. Ichigo noticed the hollow was holding its breath in anticipation. Rukia sighed, looked down, then met its eyes again.

"What you said in the letter- -was it true?"

* * *

A/N: Chapter 14 is almost done, so it should be up soon!


	14. Choice

A/N: In response to Vincent-and-Yuffie-FOREVER's comment: "PS At least Hichi didn't write a poem xD"

I picture this being crumpled up in the trashcan:

"Blood is red, your eyes are blue . . .

Please don't get creeped out

when I say I love you!"

* * *

**Chapter 14: Choice**

Rukia was trying to get a read on the hollow's emotions, but it wasn't easy. She could sense a feel of conflict, but she thought that was probably just the effect of Ichigo relinquishing control somewhat against his will. She wished there was a different way she could go about this, but she had to know, and this was what Urahara had suggested.

After he'd invited her in and offered her some tea, she'd shown him the letter. She wasn't able to look at him as he took far too long to read it, and when he finally handed it back, his eyes were serious.

"Do you know if anything like this has ever happened before?" she asked, carefully folding the letter up again and slipping it into her sleeve.

"I don't," Urahara said. "It's not something I've ever heard of before, no."

Rukia swallowed. She'd hoped he had some past experience that could help her decide what to do. Without that, she wasn't sure what to add to the silence in the wake of his answer.

"The people I sent him to, to help with his hollow problem," Urahara said suddenly, making Rukia look up from her tea, "mentioned that his battle with the hollow had been different. Specifically, that Ichigo said he and his hollow had made a bargain instead of fighting."

"A bargain?" Rukia said, touching her sleeve but not needing to unfold the note to remember the hollow's mention of a deal. Urahara seemed to understand her thoughts.

"Yes, as the hollow wrote. Did Ichigo mention any sort of a deal to you?"

Rukia thought about their interactions since Ichigo had returned, but she already knew the answer. "No, he just said he had it under control."

"Hmm," Urahara said, removing his hat and setting it beside his tea cup. He took a sip of tea, then set the cup down again. "The strange thing is, all of this is lending credence to what the hollow said."

Rukia smoothed the note in her sleeve again. She'd been thinking the same thing, but it disturbed her a bit to have it laid out in the open like that.

He paused thoughtfully, then gave her a level stare. "It's certainly a strange situation. The only sense I can make of it is by considering that hollows are driven primarily by instinct."

"An instinct to kill," Rukia said quietly. Urahara grimaced slightly.

"Yes, most hollows are driven by that basic drive, to bury their despair and loneliness in the deaths of those they'd loved in life."

Rukia's brow furrowed. "But Ichigo's hollow never was alive."

"Precisely," Urahara said. "His hollow has always been something of an anomaly. The only others like it I've seen were forced into being with the desire to kill and cause chaos."

He paused, maddeningly, to take another sip of tea. Rukia's mostly full cup lay on the table before her, but she didn't feel compelled to touch it.

"Ichigo's hollow came about during much different circumstances," he continued after replacing his empty cup on the table. "At the moment of its birth, Ichigo's most pressing desire was to fight and become more powerful, so it shows that combativeness. But perhaps more important to this situation is the reason Ichigo was at that time compelled to fight."

Rukia met his eyes, shocked. "Me," she said. "He was trying to get stronger so he could break into Soul Society and rescue me."

Urahara nodded. "I believe that fact is the main reason why his hollow is different, and why it is now acting this way toward you. From its first resurgence, it has been solely focused on you."

Rukia blushed, wondering just how closely Urahara had been monitoring this development. Since he was responsible for the hollow's creation in the first place, and seeing as he definitely owed her some favors after the hougyouku incident, probably very closely.

"If that's the case," she began, then paused, trying to organize her thoughts. "If that's the case, then how should I proceed?"

Urahara's expression became serious again.

"As I see it, you have two options. You should confront the hollow directly about this letter. See how it responds, and judge for yourself whether its intentions are true. After that, it's up to you to decide whether you will consider its offer, or whether you will ask Ichigo to conquer it for good. Because as long as you exist near Ichigo, it will continue to trouble him for your attention."

Rukia nodded, not particularly liking either of the choices that lay before her, but knowing something had to be done, and soon. She nodded and came to her feet, bowing at Urahara, who remained seated.

"Thank you," she said, turning to leave.

"Kuchiki-san?" he said as as he reached the door. She looked back at him. "Whatever you decide, come back to me after, and bring Ichigo. Either way, I'm sure I can be of service to you both."

Rukia had nodded again, not feeling like speaking, and made her way out of the store, sliding the front door shut behind her. Rather than using shunpo, she'd taken the time as she walked home to weigh her feelings on the subject, stopping by a small park that Yuzu sometimes played at and sitting on top of one of the slides, lost in thought.

While she wasn't very optimistic about giving the hollow a chance to express the feelings it claimed it had for her, she found that the idea of Ichigo conquering it made her feel slightly sick. It wasn't like other hollows- -she knew when she cut them down that she was actually freeing their souls to go to Soul Society, cleansing them of the loneliness and despair that had driven them to become hollows in the first place. If Ichigo defeated his hollow, she knew it would only increase its suffering and loneliness.

On the other hand, Ichigo had a right to his own body. If he was the one to decide to put an end to his inner hollow, she wouldn't protest his decision. But could she live with herself is she was the one to tell him to crush the thing that had told her it loved her? What if that emotion was true, and she paid back its courage in writing that letter by ordering it bound?

She still hadn't been sure which choice to make by the time the sun had started to lighten the horizon. All she'd known by that point was that she should get home before Ichigo woke up. She'd been exhausted at school, but hadn't dared stay home, knowing that would only make Ichigo worry. But now, with what she was confronting his hollow with, perhaps it would have been better to have gotten some sleep. Tired or not, she just hoped she would know what to do once she got her answers.

#

"What you said in the letter- -was it true?"

Hichigo's eyes widened. He couldn't believe this- -was she actually giving him a chance? Ichigo was clamoring in the back of his head, but Hichi ignored him. The King had nothing to do with this right now; this was between him and Rukia.

"Yes. Every word," he said, staring at her intently. He wasn't using Ichigo as a shield anymore- -his eyes were fully his own. He tried to let the truth shine in them, to show her that she could believe him. He only hoped it was enoguh. She was all that mattered anymore.

She considered him for a long moment. He had no desire to break the silence again. When she decided what to do next, she could do that. His fate rested in her hands.

Rukia closed her eyes, and Hichigo could see for the first time just how exhausted she was. He was sorry to be putting her through this struggle, but he had to know, and apparently, so did she.

"Can you let Ichigo have control again?" she asked quietly, her eyes still closed. Hichi clenched his teeth against crying out "No!"- -if this was what she wanted, he would do it. He sank back into his inner world, his hated home, and wished he could properly throw himself off one of the buildings.

"Ichigo?" Hichi could hear her say.

"Yeah," Ichigo said gruffly. "It's me." Almost against his will, Hichi watched her from within the King's mind.

She opened her eyes again, and met Ichigo's. She looked relieved to see the familiar brown, and Hichi turned away, despair eating a hole in his stomach, befitting of his hollow nature.

"Ichigo, could you sense his emotions?"

Hichi looked up again, as surprised as the King.

"Yeah," Ichigo said hesitantly. Rukia swallowed.

"What did he feel, when I asked him about the letter?"

Ichigo shook his head, looking down. Hichi felt a sudden hope begin inside him again, shining faintly in the black of his despair.

"It . . . I don't know, Rukia." Ichigo looked up at her again. "It was hopeful, I guess. Hopeful, and afraid."

Before Rukia could react, Ichigo took a step forward, his arms still bound behind his back. "But Rukia, I don't want you to trust it. For all you know, it's hopeful that you'll let your guard down, afraid that it won't get the chance to hurt you!"

"He's had that chance before," Rukia said quietly, and Hichi could have sworn she was speaking to him, not Ichigo.

"Rukia," Ichigo said pleadingly, "what is this letter?"

"He wrote me a letter," Rukia said. "I found it yesterday."

Ichigo's brow knotted in anger. "I told it to stay away from you," he growled. Rukia's eyes flashed with a surprising anger.

"After you made a deal with him to share control? When were you going to tell me about that? He told me, easily enough."

"I didn't want you to worry," Ichigo started, but Rukia cut him off.

"Do I have reason to worry? Do you not have him under control?"

This turn of the conversation threatened to extinguish Hichi's small spark of hope- -that was, until Ichigo brought something to both of their attention.

"**It**," he said. "I have **it** under control."

Rukia stared at him a moment longer, then turned away. She flicked a finger at her side, and the bakudou holding Ichigo released. Ichigo massaged his sore wrists and took another step forward until he stood quite near Rukia.

"Rukia," he said quietly, "what else did it say in the letter? Did it threaten you?"

She scoffed quietly. "Far from it," she whispered. Hichigo wished he could take control and wrap her in his arms.

Rukia let out a breath through her teeth, then turned back toward Ichigo, her eyes bright.

"He said that he loved me, and I believe him. But I don't have the slightest clue what to do about that."

* * *

A/N: You and me both, Rukia! :)


End file.
